Senior Ed Bloom: I've been nothin' but myself since the day I was born, and if you can't see that it's your failin', not mine.
Young Ed Bloom: Your last name is different. You married.
Jenny: I was 18, he was 28. Turns out it was a big difference.
Senior Ed Bloom: I caught an uncatchable fish.
Will Bloom: You become what you always were - a very big fish.
Will Bloom: In telling the story of my father's life, it's impossible to separate fact from fiction, the man from the myth. The best I can do is to tell it the way he told me. It doesn't always make sense and most of it never happened... but that's what kind of story this is.
Young Ed Bloom: There are some fish that cannot be caught. It's not that they're faster or stronger than other fish. They're just touched by something extra.
Will Bloom: Have you ever heard a joke so many times you've forgotten why it's funny? And then you hear it again and suddenly it's new. You remember why you loved it in the first place.
Amos Calloway: Tell me, Karl, have you ever heard the term "involuntary servitude"?
Karl: No.
Amos Calloway: "Unconscionable contract"?
Karl: Uh, nope.
Amos Calloway: Great.
Wilbur (Age 10): Is it true she's got a glass eye? I heard she got it from the gypsies.
Young Don Price: What's a gypsy?
Ed Bloom (Age 10): Your momma's a gypsy.
Young Don Price: Your momma's a bitch.
Will Bloom: My father talked about a lot of things that he never did and I'm sure he did a lot of things that he never talked about. I'm just trying to reconcile the two.
Will Bloom: You know about icebergs, dad?
Senior Ed Bloom: Do I? I saw an iceberg once. They were hauling it down to Texas for drinking water. They didn't count on there being an elephant frozen inside. The wooly kind. A mammoth.
Will Bloom: Dad.
Senior Ed Bloom: What?
Will Bloom: I'm trying to make a metaphor here.
Senior Ed Bloom: Well you shouldn't have started with a question, because most people want to answer questions. You should've started with "the thing about icebergs is."
Jenny: I loved a man who could never love me back. I was living in a fairytale.
Senior Ed Bloom: What do you want, Will? Who do you want me to be?
Will Bloom: Just yourself. Good, bad, everything. Just show me who you are for once.
Will Bloom: Unbelievable.
Senior Ed Bloom: The story of my life.
Little Girl: He ate mah dawg.
Senior Ed Bloom: They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.
Sandra Bloom: You don't even know me.
Young Ed Bloom: I have the rest of my life to find out.
Senior Ed Bloom: Sometimes, the only way to catch an uncatchable woman is to offer her a wedding ring.
Will Bloom: We have to take Glenville to avoid the church traffic because the damn church people drive too slow.
Young Jenny: Promise me you'll come back.
Young Ed Bloom: I promise. Someday. When I'm really supposed to.
