Young Jenny: There's leaches in there.
Young Ed Bloom: Did you see that woman?
Young Jenny: What did she look like?
Young Ed Bloom: Well, she was, uh.
Young Jenny: Was she naked?
Young Ed Bloom: Yeah, she was.
Young Jenny: It's not a woman. It's a fish. No one ever catches her.
Jenny: I loved a man who could never love me back. I was living in a fairytale.
Will Bloom: We have to take Glenville to avoid the church traffic because the damn church people drive too slow.
Norther Winslow: Roses are red. Violets are blue. I love Spectre.
Josephine: Oh, so this is a tall tale?
Senior Ed Bloom: Well, it's not a short one.
Young Ed Bloom: She said that the biggest fish in the river gets that way by never getting caught.
Young Ed Bloom: This isn't how I die.
Will Bloom: You become what you always were - a very big fish.
Will Bloom: Have you ever heard a joke so many times you've forgotten why it's funny? And then you hear it again and suddenly it's new. You remember why you loved it in the first place.
Will Bloom: My father talked about a lot of things that he never did and I'm sure he did a lot of things that he never talked about. I'm just trying to reconcile the two.
Will Bloom: Unbelievable.
Senior Ed Bloom: The story of my life.
Sandra Bloom: You don't even know me.
Young Ed Bloom: I have the rest of my life to find out.
Senior Sandra Bloom: I don't think I'll ever dry out.
Senior Ed Bloom: I've told you a thousand facts, Will, that's what I do. I tell stories.
Will Bloom: You tell lies, Dad.
Will Bloom: A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.
Senior Ed Bloom: Tell me how it happens.
Will Bloom: How what happens?
Senior Ed Bloom: How I go.
Will Bloom: You mean what you saw in the Eye? I dunno that story, Dad, you never told it to me.
Senior Ed Bloom: Most men, they'll tell you a story straight through. It won't be complicated, but it won't be interesting either.
Amos Calloway: Tell me, Karl, have you ever heard the term "involuntary servitude"?
Karl: No.
Amos Calloway: "Unconscionable contract"?
Karl: Uh, nope.
Amos Calloway: Great.
Senior Ed Bloom: And that's my life story.
