Pina: Me, I can convert anybody. Give me an hour in the Gay Village and there's not gonna be a Gay Village no more! Hai capito?
Anna: Gee! Time flies when you're mortified.
Peter: Angelo, if you can't have compassion for yourself, how you gonna have it for others?
Gino Barberini: Nobody told us there was two America: the real one, United State, and the fake one, Canada. Then, to make matter even worse, there's two Canada: the real one, Ontario, and the fake one, Quebec.
Angelo Barberini: Look, my folks, they took it relatively well.
Nino Paventi: Sure.
Angelo Barberini: Yeah. Just don't eat anything my mother offers you.
Nino Paventi: They threatened to kill me?
Angelo Barberini: No, but they are Italian.
Lina Paventi: Oh, Nino... look at this beautiful face! Nice, eh? Now, think of his big, fat mother - because that's the face you're going to end up with.
Nino Paventi: How'd you get in here? The door was locked, the alarm system was on.
Lina Paventi: Nino, I'm Sicilian.
Angelo: Being gay and Italian is a fate worse than... actually there is no fate worse than being gay and Italian.
Angelo: Are you okay?
Anna: I will be once the Valium kicks in.
