Big Jule: Well, I used to be bad when I was a kid, but ever since then I've gone straight, as has been proved by my record: Thirty-three arrests and no convictions.
Sky Masterson: One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the jack of spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an ear full of cider.
Sky Masterson: General, on behalf of the former sinners of the future I would like to protest the closing of this mission.
Sky Masterson: The companionship of a doll is a pleasant thing even for a period of time running into months. But for a close relationship that can last us through all the years of our life, no doll can take the place of aces back to back.
Miss Adelaide: And what was that about?
Nathan Detroit: His wife's having a baby.
Miss Adelaide: But why is he asking you?
Nathan Detroit: He's nervous, it's his first wife.
Nathan Detroit: Would you not agree that Mindy's cheesecake is the best cheesecake alive?
Sergeant Sarah Brown: That bacardi flavor, it certainly makes a difference, doesn't it?
Sky Masterson: Oh, yeah. Nine times out of ten.
Sergeant Sarah Brown: You know, this would be a wonderful way to get children to drink milk.
Nathan Detroit: Still, you will admit that Mindy's cheesecake is the greatest alive.
Sky Masterson: Gladly. Furthermore, I am quite partial to Mindy's cheesecake.
Sergeant Sarah Brown: Apparently you're a successful gambler.
Sky Masterson: Is it wrong to gamble, or only to lose? I'd better come back for help when I'm broke.
Sergeant Sarah Brown: Please don't misunderstand. It's just so unusual for a successful sinner to be unhappy about sin.
Sky Masterson: Besides, my unhappiness came up very suddenly. Maybe it'll go away again.
Arvide Abernathy: We can keep you unhappy, son. Give us a chance.
Harry the Horse: So, my sin is that when Sky was rolling us, I wished that I could've won the thousand bucks instead of having to come here. But, now that I'm here - I still wish it.
Nathan Detroit: As you can see, Big Jule, the boys are fatigued from weariness.
Big Jule: I don't care who's tired. I'm out 25 Gs. Nobody leaves.
Rusty Charlie: I am half dead.
Harry the Horse: If you do not shut up, Big Jule will arrange the other half.
Nathan Detroit: Everybody in the whole world who hates me is now here.
Big Jule: If it gets around in Chicago that I went to a prayer meeting, no decent person will talk to me.
Harry the Horse: I just acquired five thousand fish.
Nicely Nicely Johnson: Five thousand? If it can be told, where did you take on this fine bundle of lettuce?
Harry the Horse: I have nothing to hide. I collected the reward on my father.
Benny Southstreet: It is an advantage to have a successful father. Nobody ever wanted my old man for as much as five hundred.
Sky Masterson: I am not putting the knock on dolls. It's just that they are something to have around only when they come in handy... like cough drops.
Benny Southstreet: I've always been a bad guy, and a bad gambler. From now on, I would like to be a good guy, and a good gambler. I thank you.
Lieutenant Brannigan: What brings all these senior delinquents together?
Nathan Detroit: They got lonely. How am I supposed to know?
Lieutenant Brannigan: And why are they all wearing red carnations?
Nathan Detroit: They are also all wearing pants.
Nathan Detroit: I have been running the crap game since I was a juvenile delinquent.
Miss Adelaide: Speaking of chronic conditions, happy anniversary.
Nathan Detroit: If a guy did not have a doll, who would holler on him?
Sky Masterson: Figuring weight for age, all dolls are the same.
