Bend It Like Beckham (2002)

Mrs. Bhamra: What family would want a daughter-in-law who can run around kicking football all day but can't make round chapatis?

Wedding Guest: Lesbian? Her birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.

Jules: Anyway being a lesbian's not that big a deal.
Paula: Oh no of course not sweetheart no. I mean I've got nothing against it. I was cheering for Martina Navratilova as much as the next person.

Paula: Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes.

Paula: When are you going to realise you have a daughter, with breasts, not a son.

Jules: Mother, just because I wear trakkies and play sport does not make me a lesbian.

Jess: Why are you doing this to me, Joe? Every time I talk myself out of it, you come around and make it sound so easy.
Joe: I guess I don't want to give up on you.

Paula: Don't tell me. The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt.

Video Man: Eyes down. Don't smile. Indian bride never smiles. You'll ruin the bloody video.

Joe: Can't keep losing all my best players to the Yanks now can I?

Joe: Look, I can't let you go without knowing.
Jess: What?
Joe: That even with the distance, and it concerns your family, we might still have something. Don't you think?

Joe: You're lucky... to have a family that cares that much about you. I can understand you don't want to mess with it.
Jess: Joe.
Joe: And I don't fancy being busted by your dad again. You better get back.

Mrs. Bhamra: Your sister's getting engaged and you're sitting here watching this skinhead boy.
Jess: Mum, it's Beckham's corner.

Joe: Look, Jess. I saw it. She fouled you. She tugged your shirt. You just overreacted, that's all.
Jess: That's not all. She called me a Paki. But I guess that's something you wouldn't understand.
Joe: Jess, I'm Irish. Of course I understand what that feels like.

Joe: Where do you normally play?
Jess: In the park.
Joe: No... I meant what position?

Jess: Anyone can cook aloo gobi, but who can bend a ball like Beckham?

Wedding Guest (older woman): She's not Lebanese, she's Punjabi.