Wedding Guest: Lesbian? Her birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.
Jules: Anyway being a lesbian's not that big a deal.
Paula: Oh no of course not sweetheart no. I mean I've got nothing against it. I was cheering for Martina Navratilova as much as the next person.
Paula: Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes.
Paula: When are you going to realise you have a daughter, with breasts, not a son.
Jules: Mother, just because I wear trakkies and play sport does not make me a lesbian.
Paula: Don't tell me. The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt.
Mrs. Bhamra: What family would want a daughter-in-law who can run around kicking football all day but can't make round chapatis?