Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Movie Quote Quiz

Lois Einhorn: Listen, pet dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.

Ace Ventura: If I'm not back in five minutes...just wait longer.

Aguado: Hey. Hey, Ventura. Make any good collars, lately?
Cop: Or were they leashes?
[Everyone laughs at Ace. Ace laughs and turns around.]
Aguado: Uh-oh!
[Aguado sees a bug scampering across the floor and steps on it.]
Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how you gonna solve that one?
Ace: That's a good question, Aguado. First I'd establish a motive. In this case, the killer saw the size of the bug's dick, and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose thirty pounds, porking his wife.

Mr. Shickadance: Venturaaahhh!
Ace Ventura: Yes, Satan? [Turns around.] Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.

Ace Ventura: I'm looking for Ray Finkle...
[A shotgun cocks and is pointed at his head.]
Ace Ventura: ...and a clean pair of shorts.

Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you'd better be gone!
Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.

Sexy Woman: Thank you, Mr. Ventura. How can I ever repay you?
Ace: Well, a reward would be good. There was some damage to my car. It's a high performance machine, so I had to fill it with premium.
[The woman interrupts Ace by kissing him.]
Sexy Woman: Would you like for me to take your pants off instead?
Ace: Gee, let me think. Um, sure.

Ace Ventura: Excuse me, I'd like to ass you a few questions.
Emilio Emilio: This is not the time Ace, if Einhorn came down here and saw me talking to you, or your ass, I'll be history.

Ace Ventura: Wow. Ray Finkle's house. I can't wait to meet him.
Mr. Finkle: Ray ain't coming home.
Ace Ventura: But your wife said you expect him home any minute.
Mr. Finkle: She expects him home any minute. See the engine's running, but, uh, there's nobody behind the wheel. I mean, eight years ago, our son escaped from Shady Acres Mental in Tampa. And they're still bugging us to pick up his stuff.
Mrs. Finkle: It was all that Dan Marino's fault. Everybody knows that. If he had held the ball laces out like he was supposed to Ray never would have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.

Ace: I never take my work home with me.
Mr. Shickadance: Oh yeah, then what's all this pet food for?
Ace: Fibre?

Lois Einhorn: What the hell is he doing here?
Ace Ventura: I came to confess. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.

[Ace looks at the dog owner in his mirror as he's smashing the car with the baseball bat.]
Ace Ventura: Warning, assholes are grosser than they appear!

Ronald Camp: I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ace! I'll have the plumbing checked immediately!
Ace Ventura: Be sure that you do. If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed.

Audio problem: At the beginning, when they steal the dolphin, you hear the peel-out sound effect as if the truck was on a paved road, but they were on grass. (00:07:15)

More mistakes in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Trivia: The dolphin was trained to retrieve many objects that were thrown in a pool at SeaWorld Miami. There were maybe 12 -16 different shaped and weighted items that she learned to pick up and place on the side out of the pool and water. One of the objects and the most important was a black rubber gun. Every single time the only object she would not recover was the gun.

More trivia for Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Question: Why can't Ace just ask every football player to show their rings to him instead of just going through all that trouble tricking them while investigating?

Trainman

Answer: If people catch on to what he's doing, it could possibly tip off the culprit and give him time to hide evidence. Also, it's a silly movie and this is about comedy, not logic.

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