Chris Knight: This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.
Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning.
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?
Old Lady: Tell me, what's Einstein really like?
Professor Hathaway: Dead.
Dr. Dodd: Why is that toy on your head?
Chris Knight: Because if I wear it any place else, it chafes.
Bodie: Well, I guess it goes from God, to Jerry, to you... to the cleaners. Right, Kent?
Professor Hathaway: Mitch, there's something you need to know. Compared to you, most people have the IQ of a carrot.
Professor Hathaway: I want to see more of you around the lab.
Chris Knight: Fine. I'll gain weight.
Chris Knight: Do you mind if I name my first child after you?"Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it.
Professor Hathaway: You still run?
Chris Knight: Only when chased.