Mulligan: You shave with your spats on?
Spats Colombo: I sleep with my spats on.
Sugar: Don't fight it.
Sugar: Story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.
Sugar: I come from this musical family. My mother is a piano teacher and my father was a conductor.
Joe: Where did he conduct?
Sugar: On the Baltimore and Ohio.
Osgood: You must be quite a girl.
Daphne: Wanna bet?
Toothpick Charlie: Look, chief, I better blow 'cause if Columbo sees me, it's gonna be "Goodbye Charlie!"
Mulligan: Goodbye, Charlie.
Sugar: If my mother could only see me now.
Joe: I hope my mother never finds out.
Osgood: I am Osgood Fielding the third.
Daphne: I'm Cinderella the second.
Junior: Syncopators. Does that mean you play that very fast music... jazz?
Sugar: Yeah. Real Hot.
Junior: I guess some like it hot. I personally prefer classical music.
Joe: I feel a funny sensation in my toes. Like someone is barbecuing them over a fire.
Sugar: Water polo? Isn't that terribly dangerous?
Junior: I'll say. I had two ponies drowned under me.
Mulligan: Alright Spats, services are over, lets go.
Spats Colombo: Go where?
Mulligan: A little country club we run for retired bootleggers. I'm puttin your name up for membership.
Spats Colombo: I don't join nothin'.
Mulligan: Ahh... you'll like it there, I'll get the prison tailor to fit you with a pair of special spats - striped.
Spats Colombo: Big joke.
Osgood: You know, I've always been fascinated by show business.
Daphne: Is that so?
Osgood: Yes. As a matter of fact it's cost my family quite a bit of money.
Daphne: Oh, you invest in shows?
Osgood: Showgirls. I've been married seven or eight times.
Daphne: You're not sure?
Osgood: Mama is keeping score.
Jerry: We're up the creek and you want to hock the paddle.
Sig Poliakoff: You're the wrong shape. Goodbye.
Joe: What are you looking for - hunchbacks or something?
Sig Poliakoff: It's not the backs that worry me.
Sweet Sue: Are you two from the Poliakoff agency?
Joe: Yes, we're the new girls.
Daphne: Brand new.