Corky the Dog: Hey, Jack, have that bitch make me some blueberry pancakes... Right now.
Beth: Are there any guys out there who are just normal?
E.L.: Barry, hit the lights. It's boner time.
Barry: Austin? Austin, Massachusetts?
E.L.: Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day.
Rubin: It's supposed to be a challenge, that's why they call it a shortcut. If it was easy it would just be the way.
Corky the Dog: Hey, Old man... I got the fuckin' munchies real bad... what about you?
E.L.: You're already cheating! Anytime you pass up sex, you're cheating on yourself.
Student in the Tour: Girls don't just walk around naked.
Barry: Uh, yeah they do.