Tony: Hey Dr. Jones, do you have any birds I can play with?
Dr. Jones: Well, the birds that I have are... way too large and dangerous for you to play with.
Tony: So how about a smaller one?
Dr. Jones: Well I tell you what, I'll send you some lovebirds.
Tony: Sweet, I can't wait to play with them.
Dragan Ilic: Why don't you go and fuck yourself with a viking helmet?
Curtis: You know what I hate about myself? I know what people taste like. I know babies taste the best.
Howard Stark: It's called a bikini.
Dum Dum Dugan: The bikini. You invent it?
Howard Stark: No, the French.
Dum Dum Dugan: Bikini.
Chaney: I swear, I don't know nothin'! I swear before God and eight motherfuckin' white people.
Amanda: I knew that you were real. I came to save you.
Our Man: This is The Virginia Jean with an SOS call, over.
Batman: He'll still be weak, between the nuke and so little sunlight. Just how weak we'll see when he finds my first surprise.
Robin: Yeah, but how long you expect to last against him?
Batman: Long enough.
Robin: Boss. I'm trying to get the plan here. I mean, you gonna die tonight or what?
Batman: Figure I will.
Mr. President: You know Mexico. Hell, you are Mexico.
Priest: I was expecting a parishioner who can't make it, apparently. Would you like to take his place for confession?
Maggie Blake: Me? Oh, I confess, it's been years since I went to confession.
Walterson: You'll be workin' nights here now.
Chris: What? Why?
Walterson: We give our guys on the streets guns to shoot people who show up with other guns.
Emil Kovac: Now your turn. You tell me.
Benjamin Ford: War stories?
Emil Kovac: Yes.
Benjamin Ford: Most of those aren't true.
Emil Kovac: Most, but some.
Benjamin Ford: The ones that are, why would anyone want to talk about that?
Emil Kovac: How else do you keep the past alive?
Benjamin Ford: The past is dead, let's keep it that way.
Brent Magna: I should have been a banker.
John Carlyle: Droids, there appears to be some type of wheeled vehicle with one - two occupants, they are armed and I'd like them dead.
Grey: I'll get you a prescription for Ativan, it'll stop your conscience bothering ya.
Daniel Lugo: My name is Daniel Lugo, and I believe in fitness. All this began because it was time to push myself harder, otherwise I was looking at another forty years wearing sweatpants to work.
Max Lewinsky: I'm paid to catch crooks, not get them elected.
John Matthews: I admire you so much. The stand you're taking. You didn't take the easy way out. Not setting up one of your friends. I couldn't do what you did. So it looks like you're the one teaching me what real character and integrity is all about. I love you, son.