Computer: This ship will self-destruct in exactly ten seconds. Counting down. Ten, nine, eight, six.
President Skroob: Six? What happened to seven?
Computer: Just kidding.
Damon Killian: Hi, cutie-pie. You know, one of us is in deep trouble. You know who I am?
Ben Richards: I've seen you before. You're the asshole on TV.
Damon Killian: That's funny. I was gonna say the same thing about you.
Jack Putter: We've got the chip.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All right.
Jack Putter: We're on the way to the lab.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All right.
Jack Putter: But I think they put someone in there with you.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All... what?
Lex Luthor: Lenny, I've always considered you the Dutch Elm disease in my family tree.
Tom Beck: What the hell is that?
Sanchez: A flame-thrower man, can you believe it? Patrol picked this up off some homeboy on the street.
Jimmy Garrett: A human pilot would react differently, because a human pilot would know that he's going to die.
Dr. Steele: When I stack 'em, they stay stacked.