Pamela: And to think I've been telling my friends it's so cool living with an artist. You never once asked to paint me nude.
Frank Riley: Where's the goddam toaster?
Frank Riley: The quickest way to end a miracle is to ask it why it is... or what it wants.
Mr. Kovacks: Is this what you're talking about? It's full'o junk. It's a storage shed, you idiot.
Carlos: No it's not. It's full of ghosts or spirits or something and they're just trying to make me look bad.
Mr. Kovacks: You don't need ghosts for that.
Pamela: It's old and depressing.
Mason: It's reality.
Pamela: This is the '80s! Nobody likes reality any more.
Faye Riley: Frank! It's the love boat to Cuba! Shuffle board and pineapples filled with rum. Know what they do? They put little paper umbrellas sticking out the top so that when it rains, it don't thin out the liquor.
Harry: We bring good things to life.
Faye Riley: What ever happened to General Eisenhower? You hardly read a word about him anymore.