Victor Frankenstein: People are weird.
Vladimir Ivanoff: In Moscow we fought for an inch of freedom! Here you take it and pour shit all over it.
Squirrel Murphy: Now that's a girl I could take advantage of.
The Devil: I love to scare the hell out of people.
Stan Gable: Times are changing, Betty. These nerds are a threat to our way of life.
Betty Childs: If they win the Homecoming Carnival, they'll be able to take over the Greek Council.
Stan Gable: Yeah. And we'll be up to our asses in nerd shit.
Sir Gawain: I forgot to ask one question during my quick initiation into knighthood.
Humphrey: Oh? What's that?
Sir Gawain: How to relieve myself in this tin suit.
Dr. Carter: Are you pregnant?
Regina Belmont: No. Thought I was once.
Dr. Carter: That's not important.
Regina Belmont: Longest three weeks of my life.
Zeno: I hope no-one minds but I have no intention of facing this sober.
Warren Evans: I remember after I saw Rocky, I ran out in the park jogging, shadow boxing. Some guy came up to me and punched me right in the face.
Ninfa, Whore at Marguerita's: I am the best French kisser in Chile Verde.
Abel Wood: If I come across a Frenchman, I'll be sure to let him know.
Henry 'Hopper' Nash/Lou: Tyrone Power never said fuck 'em.
Willie: It's just a moment. We're here. Then we're not here. We're somewhere else... maybe. And it's as natural as breathing. Why should we be scared?
Officer O'Clancy: No way, you're wasting your time.
Cigar Face: That's where you're wrong. YOU'RE wasting our time. And now we're gonna waste you.
Lucy Lane: All you need is a couple of streaks and your ears pierced. I could do it for you, it's easy. You just get a needle, heat it up, dab it with some alcohol, and zap! The guys go crazy.
Linda Lee: My ears what?
Lucy Lane: Pierced. Like and you know, I take a needle, and then I heat it up, dab it with some alcohol and, zap, all the guys go crazy.
Linda Lee: Because I have holes in my ears?
Lucy Lane: What, are you putting me on? Sometimes I can't figure you out, Linda.
Bernice: What you want for dinner?
Odell: You mean, what do I want, or what do I want that you can cook?
Bernice: Well, in that case, where are you taking me?
Odell: Yeah, what do you want to have?
Bernice: You mean, what do I want, or what do I want that you can afford?
Dr. Donna Burke: Just what the hell are you guys running here, a gd zoo? I'm in the middle of a fundraiser breakfast when I'm informed that your school psychologist has flipped out in the middle of your gd office. And, then I get here and find out that there has been a stabbing, and if that's not enough, one of your kids tries to eat one of your gd teachers. Mr. Rubell, what the hell do you call that?
Roger Rubell: Monday.