Cledus Snow: You can't drive a fork lift.
Bandit: I can drive any forkin' thing around.
Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Jerry Landers: How can you permit all the *suffering* that goes on in the world?
God: Ah, how can *I* permit the suffering?
Jerry Landers: Yeah!
God: I don't permit the suffering. You do! Free will. All the choices are yours.
Jerry Landers: Choices? What choices?
God: You can love each other, cherish and nurture each other or you can kill each other. Incidentally, "kill" is the word. It's not "waste." If I meant "waste" I would have written "thou shalt not waste." You're doing some very funny things with words, here. You're also turning the sky into mud. I look down, I can't believe the filth. Using the rivers for toilets, poisoning my fishes. You want a miracle? *You* make a fish from scratch. You can't. You think only God can make a tree? Try coming up with a mackerel. And when the last one is gone, that'll be that. Eighty-six on the fishes, goodbye sky, so long world, over and out.
[Dr. Terminus has just learned of Elliot's existence.]
Dr. Terminus: Do you think this kid Pete would sell it?
Hoagy: Money talks.
Dr. Terminus: First there's a dragon. Now he tells me money talks. Will miracles never cease?
Paula McFadden: I thought you said you were decent.
Elliot Garfield: I am decent. I also happen to be naked.
Connie: Are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?
Gen. Douglas MacArthur: The days of the frontal attack are over. Only a mediocre commander would use it. Your good commanders do not turn in heavy losses.
Henry Gibson: In the past year, over 800,000 Americans have died. Despite millions of dollars of research, death continues to be our nation's number one killer.
Brenda Carter: We're gonna be french fries! Human french fries.
TV Announcer: And because of a courageous little girl named Penny, the world's largest diamond, the Devil's Eye, is now at the Smithsonian Institute. But what's even more important, folks, this little orphan's dream has come true. Today, she's being adopted. And here she is with her new mother and father.
Ben Shockley: How's our Assistant D.A. these days?
Josephson: Shit! He couldn't convict Hitler.
Winnie the Pooh: Could you ssspare a sssmall sssmackerel?
Gopher: Say, you ought to do sssomething about that ssspeech impediment, sssonny.
Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke: Professor Little Old Man.
Dr. Vicktor Lillolman: "Lillolman." "Lillolman."
Captain Stransky: A world without women. It's an old theory of mine. Men can get along without women easily. Easily. I tell you a man's true destiny is not just breeding children, all this childbirth and chocolate, but to be free. To rule and to fight. In other words: to lead a man's existence. Women are no more than a nuisance. Sometimes necessary.
Donna: Wade... there's something I... I wanna tell you about last night. Well, the old lady... well, Chas, he didn't translate everything that she said.
Wade Parent: What do you mean?
Donna: Well, uh... she said... there was no driver in the car.
Major David Kabakov: What is this thing you Americans call the Super Bowl?
Lillian: Hemingway, huh?
Sammy: Yes. Hemingway and Cocteau and his red necktie and the crème de la crème.
Dottie: Way down deep, he's very superficial.
Sonia: If you want you can stay as long as you please.
Pat Hingle: Thanks, but... I'm leaving town in the morning. I'm going away forever.
Sonia: Oh, big deal, kid! So what if you got thrown out of school? I always got thrown out of school. Beginning in kindergarten.
Pat Hingle: No, that's not it. I don't give a damn about getting thrown out. You wouldn't believe me if I told it to you. It all seems so... absurd! So fantastic.
The Boss: Counter, paul.
David Laughlin: We didn't choose this place! We didn't choose these people! They were invited!
Claude Lacombe: They belong here more than we.