Will Ferrell (back to the W list / F list)

Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.

Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?

Brian Fantana: I don't remember.

Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going.

Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.

Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.

Brian Fantana: Damn it!

Ron Burgundy: You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?

Ed Harken: Dammit! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?

Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diago, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.

Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct.

Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.

Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?

Ron Burgundy: No. No.

Veronica Corningstone: No, that's what it means. Really.

Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.

Ron Burgundy: [Talking to dog] You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast!

Brian Fantana: It jumped up a notch.

Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?

Brick Tamland: Yea, I stabbed a man in the heart.

Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?

Brick Tamland: Yea, there were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.

Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by because you're probably wanted for murder.

Veronica: Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.

Ron: Oh yeah, about that, it's probably just the pants, I was meaning to take them back to the, uh, pants store.

Veronica Corningstone: For the entire Channel 4 news team, I'm Veronica Corningstone.

Ron Burgundy: And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.

Announcer: You're watching Channel 4 News, with five time Emmy award winning anchor Ron Burgundy, and Tits McGee.

Veronica: Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation.

Ron: And I'm Tits... I'm Ron Burgundy.

Veronica Corningstone: Take me to Pleasure Town.

Ron Burgundy: Oh, we're going there.

Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?

Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana.

Champ Kind: Champ Kind.

Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana.

Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.

Brick Tamland: Brian.

Brian Fantana: I'm Brian.

Brick Tamland: Veronica.

Jimmy: I see you got fat!

Chazz: I see you still look like a 15-year-old girl but not hot.

Jimmy: I call top bunk!

Chazz: No, I already did.

Jimmy: No you didn't.

Chazz: Yes I did. In my mind.

Chazz: No exaggeration, I could not love a human baby more then I love this brush.

Jimmy: Get out of my face.

Chazz: I'll get inside your face.

Chazz: Personal philosophy? Clothing optional.

Jimmy: I don't share rooms.

Chazz: I don't share SHIT...

Chazz: I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear. It's a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Chazz: Mind-bottling, isn't it?

Jimmy: Did you just say mind-bottling?

Chazz: Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

Chazz: You know what dude, your hand has to be on top.

Jimmy: No way, the girl's goes on top.

Chazz: Yeah, ergo, chick.

Jimmy: I'm not the girl, I'm stronger!

Chazz: No, I'M stronger, and don't have a vagina.

Jimmy: Who's that?

Chazz: You mean Katie van Waldenberg?

Jimmy: She's Stranz and Fairchild's sister?

Chazz: Fairchild's legs and Stranz's ass.

[Buddy sees the mail room for the first time.]

Buddy: It's just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms, and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.

Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies!

Buddy: [explaining cabs] Watch out for the yellow ones. They don't stop!

Megamind: Here's my day so far: went to jail, lost the girl of my dreams and got my butt kicked pretty good. Still, things could be a lot worse. Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't. How did it all come to this? Well, my end starts at the beginning... The very beginning!

Megamind: Let's stop wasting time and call your boyfriend in tights, shall we?

Minion: So what's the plan, sir?

Megamind: I have no idea!

Roxanne Ritchi: What's the plan?

Megamind: It mostly involves *not dying*!

Roxanne Ritchi: That's a good plan, I like that plan...!

Metro Man: We all know how this ends: with you behind bars!

Megamind: Oooh, I'm shaking in my custom baby seal leather boots!

Megamind: You dare challenge Megamind?

Titan: This town isn't big enough for two super-villians.

Megamind: Oh, you're a villain alright. Just not a super one.

Titan: Yeah? What's the difference?

Megamind: PRESENTATION!

Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!

Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!

Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!

Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!

Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

[Waking up from dreams on top of each other.]

Dale Doback: Oh no, I'm late for school.

Brennan Huff: I'll kiss you on the lips Kenny Rodgers.

Derek: So, what do we do now?

Brennan Huff: Can we hug?

Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you faggot!... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.

Brennan Huff: [in his therapist's fantasy] I've come five hundred miles to deliver my seed.

Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set!

Brennan Huff: You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck!

Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!

Dr. Robert Doback: We're putting the house on the market.

Dale Doback: Where are we moving?

Brennan Huff: Is the house haunted?

Ricky Bobby: Well, Let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders. I am too drunk to taste this chicken.

Ricky Bobby: Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then f*** you.

Ricky Bobby: Well, I'm the best there is. Plain and simple, when I wake up in the morning I piss excellence.

Ricky Bobby: I've sent in my application to the Real World. So I'm hoping to hear back from that. I'm putting A LOT of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I'm also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "hey, what's up guys? Want some crack?" I'm just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.

Susan: It's because it's what you love, Ricky. It is who you were born to be. And here you sit. Thinking. Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years. And it is good. And you use it. And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky. You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?

Ricky Bobby: Susan, I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

Female Fan: Hey driver, drive these! [Lifts shirt]

Ricky Bobby: Oh God, please be 18.

Cal Naughton Jr.: Shake and bake!

Ricky Bobby: Shake and bake!