Jay: Hey, aren't you the guy that fucked the pie?

Jason Biggs: Yeah, yeah. You see? You see? It's never...it's never "hey you were in Losers, weren't you?" Or "dude, you rocked in Boys and Girls." No, it always comes back to that fucking pie. I'm haunted by it!

James Van Der Beek: You put your dick in a pie.

Jason Biggs: Enough!

Mark Hamill: Don't fuck with a Jedi Master, son.

Jay: In this world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, the monkey will spank us!

Quick Stop customer: Are you even supposed to be here today?

Dante Hicks: Don't get me started.