Anchorman (2004) - 27 quotes

Brick Tamland: I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded.

Champ Kind: Tell me about it, this morning, I woke up and I shit a squirrel, but what I can't get is the damn thing is still alive. So now, I've got a shit covered squirrel running around my office and I don't know what to name it.

Brick Tamland: O, I'm sorry champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.

Veronica Corningstone: I told you that I wanted to be an anchor...

Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding. I thought it was a joke. I even wrote it down in my diary - Veronica had a very funny joke today. I laughed about it later that night.

Brian Fantana: That was one crazy party. I am hung over.

Champ Kind: I woke up on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room, and they would NOT stop screaming.

Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle.

Ron Burgundy: Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?

Brick Tamland: I don't know.

Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.

Ron Burgundy: I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.

Veronica Corningstone: Really.

Ron Burgundy: People know me.

Veronica Corningstone: Well, I'm very happy for you.

Ron Burgundy: I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Veronica Corningstone: Oh Ron, there are literally thousands of other men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you.

Champ Kind: What's it like, Ron?

Ron Burgundy: The intimate times? Outta sight, my man.

Brian Fantana: No, the other thing - love.

Brick Tamland: Yeah, what is that?

Ron Burgundy: I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...

Ron Burgundy: I'm in a glass case of emotion!

Brick Tamland: I love...carpet. I love...desk.

Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?

Brick Tamland: I love lamp.

Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?

Brick Tamland: I love lamp. I love lamp.

Veronica Corningstone: Take me to Pleasure Town.

Ron Burgundy: Oh, we're going there.

Frank Vitchard: I am gonna straight-up murder your ass.

Brick Tamland: I don't know what we're yelling about!

Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?

Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana.

Champ Kind: Champ Kind.

Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana.

Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.

Brick Tamland: Brian.

Brian Fantana: I'm Brian.

Brick Tamland: Veronica.

Announcer: You're watching Channel 4 News, with five time Emmy award winning anchor Ron Burgundy, and Tits McGee.

Veronica: Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation.

Ron: And I'm Tits... I'm Ron Burgundy.

Veronica: Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.

Ron: Oh yeah, about that, it's probably just the pants, I was meaning to take them back to the, uh, pants store.

Veronica Corningstone: For the entire Channel 4 news team, I'm Veronica Corningstone.

Ron Burgundy: And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast!

Brian Fantana: It jumped up a notch.

Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?

Brick Tamland: Yea, I stabbed a man in the heart.

Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?

Brick Tamland: Yea, there were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.

Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by because you're probably wanted for murder.