Female Fan: Hey driver, drive these! [Lifts shirt]

Ricky Bobby: Oh God, please be 18.

Ricky Bobby: Well, Let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders. I am too drunk to taste this chicken.

Ricky Bobby: Well, I'm the best there is. Plain and simple, when I wake up in the morning I piss excellence.

Crew Chief: Cal, Ricky's passing you.

Cal Naughton, Jr.: Do you think Ricky is passing me in my self conscious?

Crew Chief: No, he's actually passing you. That's happening right now.

Ricky Bobby: I've sent in my application to the Real World. So I'm hoping to hear back from that. I'm putting A LOT of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I'm also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "hey, what's up guys? Want some crack?" I'm just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.

Jean Girard: Hakuna matata, bitches!

Susan: It's because it's what you love, Ricky. It is who you were born to be. And here you sit. Thinking. Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years. And it is good. And you use it. And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky. You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?

Ricky Bobby: Susan, I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

Reese Bobby: Remember, son - If you're not first, you're last!

Ricky Bobby: Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then f*** you.