Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.
Brennan Huff: Listen to me! First, you keep your hands off my beautiful mother! Second, You will write a cheque to Dale and Brennan for $10,000! Or I'll shove one of those fake hearing devices so far up your ass, you can listen to your lower intestine as it produces SHIT!
Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the fuck up!
Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!
Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!
Dale Doback: Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, who do you pick?
Brennan: Favorite prehistoric dinosaur?
Brennan and Dale: Velociraptor!
Dale: Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to?
Brennan and Dale: Good Housekeeping!
Brennan: Who is one man that you would sleep with if you were a girl?
Brennan and Dale: John Stamos!
Dale: Oh my gosh.
Brennan: Did we just become best friends?
Brennan: Wanna go do karate in the garage?