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Step Brothers

Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set!
Dale Doback: Well my drum set's a guy, so that makes you gay!

Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the fuck up!

Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!

Brennan Huff: Listen to me! First, you keep your liver spotted hands off my beautiful mother, she's a saint! Second, You sit down and write a cheque to Dale and Brennan for $10,000! Or I'll shove one of those fake hearing devices so far up your ass, you can listen to your lower intestine as it produces SHIT!

Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.

Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

Derek: Brennan has a man-gina.

Derek: So, what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: Can we hug?
Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you faggot!. I'm sorry, I'm new to this.

Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!

Brennan Huff: The clown has no penis!

Brennan: Favorite prehistoric dinosaur?
Brennan and Dale: Velociraptor!
Dale: Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to?
Brennan and Dale: Good Housekeeping!
Brennan: Who is one man that you would sleep with if you were a girl?
Brennan and Dale: John Stamos!
Dale: Oh my gosh.
Brennan: Did we just become best friends?
Dale: Yup.
Brennan: Wanna go do karate in the garage?
Dale: Yup.

Dr. Robert Doback: We're putting the house on the market.
Dale Doback: Where are we moving?
Brennan Huff: Is the house haunted?

Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!

[Waking up from dreams on top of each other.]
Dale Doback: Oh no, I'm late for school.
Brennan Huff: I'll kiss you on the lips Kenny Rodgers.

Dale Doback: Oprah, Barbra Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, go!

Brennan Huff: Hold on. We're not going on the boat, Derek's selling the house, and we have to go to therapy?
Dr. Robert Doback: Yeah.
Brennan Huff: What the fuck happened?!

Brennan Huff: [in his therapist's fantasy.] I've come five hundred miles to deliver my seed.

Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.
Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?
Dale Doback: You.
Brennan Huff: Hey you don't say that!

Brennan Huff: You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck!

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Mistakes

A video is shown of Derek Huff singing "Ice Ice Baby" at a school talent show that took place when his brother Brennan was 17. Robert states his desire to retire in "in two years," in 2010, making the movie's setting 2008. Brennan is 39 in the film, placing the talent show 22 years ago in 1986. The song "Ice Ice Baby", recorded by Vanilla Ice, came out in the summer of 1990.

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Trivia

When Brennan (played by Will Ferrell) and Dale say, "Say your favourite dinosaur on 3", on the shelf there is a sign that reads 'Hugalo's Pizza', which is the pizza parlor that Will Ferrell worked at in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

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