Bishop73

The Good Samaritan - S3-E20

George: I said "God bless you", is that so wrong?
Jerry: The question is, did you allow a space for the husband to come in with his "God bless you"? Because, as the husband, he has the right of first refusal.
George: Yes, yes, I definitely waited. But let me say this, once he passes on that option, that "God bless you" is up for grabs.
Jerry: No argument, unless she's one of these multiple sneezers and he's holding his "God bless you" in advance until she completes the series.
George: Well I don't think she is a multiple sneezer, because she sneezed again later, and it it was also a single.
Jerry: What if she's having an off night?

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The Jimmy - S6-E19

Jimmy: Oh yeah, Jimmy's ready. Check Jimmy out. Jimmy's got some new moves. [Slips and falls from the water.] Jimmy's down.

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Sheriff Teasle: Are you telling me that 200 men against your boy is a no-win situation for us?
Colonel Trautman: If you send that many, don't forget one thing.
Sheriff Teasle: What?
Colonel Trautman: A good supply of body bags. (00:48:05)

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John Rambo: Why are you pushing me? (00:06:40)

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Colonel Trautman: I don't think you understand. I didn't come to rescue Rambo from you. I came to rescue you from Rambo. (00:45:25)

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Sheriff Teasle: Whatever possessed God in heaven to make a man like Rambo?
Colonel Trautman: God didn't make Rambo. I made him.

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Mitch: There's two kinds of people in this world, those who get stomped on and those who do the stomping.
Kathy: Where did you come up with that theory?
Mitch: That famous guy said it, what's his name...uh...oh yeah, Jesus.

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Mitchell Kane: Are you happy with your deal with Sultan?
Johnny Winsor: Happy? I'd sooner be turked by a syphilitic bear.
Mitchell Kane: T-turked? Turked? What is turked?
Johnny Winsor: Rectally relieved.

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Weird Knight - S1-E4

Caryn: Eric, I can not go out with this freak again. I had pancakes for dinner.
Eric: In what world is that a bad thing?

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Weird Knight - S1-E4

Stosh: I want to rep you.
Zara: I have a whistle.
Stosh: No, I want to rep you. Represent you as an artist.

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Daniel: I'm giving up bowling.
Robin: Why?
Daniel: My wrist. It's a pre-arthritic condition. It's not gonna get better.
Robin: You saw a doctor?
Daniel: No, Al, the janitor at the bowling alley examined it. He uh, seemed to know what he was talking about. He took me right away. Of course I saw a doctor.

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Uncle Joe: Would you mind going to the market, we're out of Oreos.
Molly: Well, we wouldn't be out of Oreos, would we, if someone hadn't sucked out all of the insides and tossed the rest away, you naughty boy.
Uncle Joe: I'm old and I'm rich. I can eat whatever parts I want. If I want to eat the goddamn box, I'll eat the goddamn box.

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Otto: Now, apologize.
Archie: What?
Otto: Apologize.
Archie: Are you totally deranged?
Otto: [long pause.] You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant twerp scumbag, fuck-face dickhead asshole!
Archie: How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
Otto: You're the vulgarian, you fuck! Now apologize.

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Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wanda: Oh, right, to call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dress with higher IQ's. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple things, okay? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto, I looked them up.

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Dr. Alan Grant: Well, you're alive, and that's the important thing. And thanks to you, that's one thing we have in common. Did you read Malcolm's book?
Eric Kirby: Yeah.
Dr. Alan: So?
Eric: I...I don't know. I mean, it was kinda preachy. Too much chaos, everything's chaos. Seemed like the guy was kinda high on himself.
Dr. Alan: Well, that's two things we have in common.

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Dr. Alan Grant: What John Hammond and InGen did at Jurassic Park is create genetically engineered theme park monsters. Nothing more and nothing less.
Woman: Um, are you saying that you wouldn't wanna get onto Isla Sarnoa and study them if you had the chance?
Dr. Grant: No force on Earth or Heaven will get me on that island.

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Vincent: Women love men who are mysterious and devious, keeps them on their toes, it excites them. You know what I mean?
Julius: No.
Vincent: You do like women?
Julius: Oh, very much so. They're strange and sensitive. They have compassion. I have the highest respect for women.
Vincent: You're a virgin!
Julius: That's private.
Vincent: A 230-pound virgin.

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Julius Benedict: You have no respect for logic. I have no respect for those with no respect for logic.

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Jimmy McGill: Who do I see? Chet. He drove up and he double parked outside a Dairy Queen and went in to get some soft serve. Now Chet drove, and this will give you an idea of exactly what kind of douche bag this guy was, drove a white pearlescent BMW 7-Series with white leather interior. So I saw that thing, and I had, I'd had a few, like I said, and uh... I climbed up top, and I may have... Defecated, uh... Through the sunroof... Not my finest hour, I'll grant you that. But! That's what a Chicago Sunroof is. Now you know. It's a real thing, I didn't make it up, not the first person to do it, there's a name for it. Guy wanted some soft serve, I gave him soft serve. I did not know that his children were in the backseat. There was a level of tint on the windows that I'll maintain to this day, was not legal in an Illinois licenced vehicle. But somehow, that's on me, I guess.

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Archer Vice: Baby Shower - S5-E6

Ray: No, we have to play games at the baby shower. There's Don't Drop the Baby, uh, Dirty Diaper Game.
Cyril: What in God's name is the Dirty Diaper Game?
Ray: Oh, my God, it's hilarious. You get a bunch of newborn diapers, then you microwave different candy bars...
Cyril: Stop! Yeah, let me stop you there because, if you finish that sentence, I'm going to rub cocaine in your eyes until you are blind.
Ray: Goddamn, Shawshank.

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