Bishop73

Psycho Pete Returns - S10-E3

Dennis Reynolds: What are we going to do? We can't have Pete wandering the streets. I don't want him near me. We gotta get him sent somewhere. Ohh, what about that nut, uh, nuthouse in Westchester?
Dee Reynolds: Ah, it says that's one's been shut down too.
Dennis: Oh, come on! I pay so much money in taxes already. Where's that going?
Dee: Well, they used that money to open up the Eagles' new practice facility.
Dennis: That makes sense. That's kind of a no-brainer. I mean, you can't have our guys out there twisting ankles.

Bishop73

Psycho Pete Returns - S10-E3

Dee Reynolds: Oh, my God, Dennis, listen to this. Reed Medical Institution was shut down because of statewide cutbacks. Oh, so they just cut all the loonies loose?
Dennis Reynolds: What? How could they do that? That's, that's insane!
Dee: I guess it was either that or they raise our taxes.
Dennis: What!?! Raise my taxes!?! Come on! How much do these vultures need? I already pay a ton in taxes.
Dee: Well, then I guess they're gonna have to shut down more of these places.
Dennis: What!?! Shut down more of these...we gotta have someplace to send our lunatics!
Dee: Well, then, we're going to have to pay more in taxes.
Dennis: What!?! I'm not paying more in taxes, Dee!

Bishop73

The Gang Group Dates - S10-E2

Dee Reynolds: It's my turn. It's my time, it's Dee's time. I even have my own system. The DEE System. Do them. Establish low rating. Increase power.
Dennis Reynolds: Increase is spelled with an "i."
Dee: OK, well, then uhhh... Infuriate them when they find out...
Dennis: Another "i."

Bishop73

Charlie's Mom Has Cancer - S8-E6

Dee Reynolds: Tell you what. Property taxes...paying for what you already own? Now, that's a scam.

Bishop73

Frank Sets Sweet Dee On Fire - S3-E8

Frank Reynolds: I think what we gotta do is find one sick guy and do a story about a new pandemic.
Charlie Kelly: No one cares about those kinda things, Frank.

Bishop73

Trevor Slattery: [Speaking about Morris the creature] He wants you to take him home.
Shang-Chi: Believe me, buddy, I would if I knew how. According to my dad, the path there only opens once a year.
Trevor: Morris says he can guide you there right now. You can get through the maze without waiting for the path to open. But, and it's a big "but", it's very dangerous.
Katy Chen: How dangerous?
Trevor: No one's ever made it out alive. But Morris is 90% confident he can guide us through safely. [Morris squeals] Oh! [chuckling] 19%, ha.

Bishop73

H.G. Wells: You mentioned your husband before.
Amy Robbins: My ex, yeah. I was married for a while, when I was very young. We met during an anti-war demonstration.
Wells: Ah, the Second World War?
Amy: Are you kidding? How old do you think I am?
Wells: Oh, I'm sorry, the Third World War?

Bishop73

Atonement - S2-E9

Conner: So, Gar, what can you do?
Gar: It's, it's no big deal.
Conner: Come on. Can you show me?
Gar: Now's not the best time.
Conner: Well, can you tell me?
Gar: Yeah, yeah. It's kind of weird, but I can turn into a tiger.
Conner: [Laughing] No way!
Gar: Yeah.
Conner: [Long pause] What's a tiger?

Bishop73

Logan: What is she?
Charles: She's your daughter, Logan. Alkali has your genetic code.
Logan: Not just mine.
Charles: Logan...
Logan: I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to hear about it anymore.
Charles: Logan...
Logan: Just stop!
Charles: I have to pee.

Bishop73

Chandler Jarrell: That is a cool trick. Did you ever think about going into show business? Because you could...I could be your partner, I could throw a rock at you, you make it float off, hit the wall. Standing ovations all over the place. You ever hear of Ed McMahon's "Star Search"? Do they have "Star Search" in Tibet? Probably not. They probably have "Food Search." But you know what we could do? We could all go on "Star Search", right? And we give the audience rocks and let them throw them at you and then you can move your hand, make them all hit Ed McMahon...hard!

Bishop73

Chandler Jarrell: Hey, wait a second. You took a hundred. You took the hundred. No, that, no see, one dollar. See, one dollar is for you. See this George Washington? That's Benjamin Franklin. That's not happening. You got the wrong money.
The Old Man: Ahh...ahh...
Chandler: Can I have my money back? You gave me the wrong necklace too.
The Old Man: You're breaking my heart, asswipe.
Chandler: Oh, you speak English just fine.
The Old Man: So do you. So what of it?
Chandler: Hey, listen man. Give my hundred back, take this dollar and take this, and give me the right one.
The Old Man: Monkey breath, puke face, eater of turtle slime.

Bishop73

Chandler Jarrell: Hey, bird! Did you just see a little Hare Krishna midget in the tree floating...or it me? [Telephone rings.] Must be Rod Sterling.

Bishop73

Kee Nang: A child has been kidnapped.
Chandler Jarrell: When?
Kee Nang: Five days ago in Northeastern Tibet.
Chandler: [Laughing] Tibet's a little out of my territory.
Kee Nang: This child is special. His destiny is to save the world.
Chandler: That's a good destiny.

Bishop73

Wayne: I did a project on Sweden in the 8th grade.
Bjergen Kjargen: Well, I am impressed with you quest for knowledge. Educated men are rare.
Wayne: It was really hard. I stayed up all night working on it. Then the next day in gym class, I was on the minitramp, and I got diarrhea. [Long pause] I really wish I hadn't told you that.

Bishop73

Osmosis Jones: You're gonna have to talk to my new partner, if he feels like hangin' around a little while.
Drix: But my work visa's expired.
Osmosis Jones: Well, we'll go down to the hemorrhoid and get you a good lawyer.

Bishop73

Officer on radio: Suspect is heading towards the uvula. Repeat, heading towards the uvula.
Osmosis Jones: What the heck is a u-vala?
Drix: It's that little dangly thing that hangs down in Frank's...
Osmosis Jones: Boxer shorts! OK, here we go!
Drix: Not that little dangly thing! The one in his throat!
Osmosis Jones: I knew that, I knew that.

Bishop73

Mayor Phlegmming: Good evening, citizens of Frank. In the past few weeks of the campaign, my opponent has thrown around a lot of fancy words to try to confuse the issues. Words like "exercise", "low-fat", and "diet." Words designed to scare us into changing what has worked for so many years. Well, I say, let's stay the course. Remember, a fat Frank is a happy Frank.
Leah: What? That's not what I wrote.
Mayor Phlegmming: I propose something that every organism in this city will enjoy. I give you a dream vacation to the annual chicken wing festival in Buffalo, New York. Final plans have been made and nothing is going to stand in our way!

Bishop73

Shane Detorre: [As Frank is about to eat the egg that fell on the ground] Dad! That's filthy!
Frank Detorre: Honey, ten-second rule. Hits the ground, you pick it up within ten seconds, you can eat it. [Bites into the egg] Mmmm.
Shane: Ugh!

Bishop73

Murray: We can't give up now. Washington didn't give up. Lincoln didn't...
Kate: Please!
Murray: What's wrong?
Kate: Don't mention Lincoln. Something terrible happened to me once on Lincoln's birthday.

Bishop73

Bad Guys - S10-E16

Daniel Jackson: How goes it on your end?
Cameron Mitchell: [To Vala] How goes it on our end?
Vala Mal Doran: I think I have it. Maybe.
Mitchell: Vala.
Vala: There's a 70% chance that if we dial manually, we'll be able to establish a connection, and a 50% chance the bomb will just go off.
Mitchell: That's 120%.
Vala: Well, there's some crossover where we establish a wormhole and it blows up.
Mitchell: Jackson, did you catch any of that?
Jackson: Yeah. 100% chance we should have brought someone who knows what they're doing. Yeah, I head. Daniel out.

Bishop73