Chuck
Movie Quote Quiz

Chuck Bartowski: Well it may not be the steamiest, but we probably have the strangest relationship in Los Angeles.
Sarah Walker: Doubt that. Morgan's still dating, right?
Chuck Bartowski: Good point.

Chuck Bartowski: Oh God, someone shoot me now.
Ted Roark: I can help you with that, Chuck. A real shotgun wedding. Just think. That terrible pun is the last thing you'll ever hear.

Jeff Barnes: If I could travel in time, I'd go to Lester's birth. I'd love to see the look on your face when you emerge from the vaginal canal.

Chuck Bartowski: Casey, I'm handcuffed.
John Casey: Relax, handcuffs are a cinch.
Chuck Bartowski: Really?
John Casey: Yeah, there's a bone in your thumb. Tiny bone. Real easy to break. What you're gonna wanna do is apply torsional pressure until it snaps.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm not going to break my bone.
John Casey: Well in that case, you are screwed.

Cole Barker: I have to say, Chuck, you are truly the most... special agent I've ever worked with.
John Casey: Heh. Special.

Chuck Bartowski: But it's - it's Christmas. Look I'm not buying the whole Scrooge act. Underneath that spy cover is a regular person, just like the rest of us. I mean honestly, how weird could Christmas have been for you?
Sarah Walker: Christmas at the Burton household meant the annual Salvation Army con job.
Chuck Bartowski: Okay, you're a little different than the rest of us.

Chuck Bartowski: You belong out there. Save the world. I'm just - I'm just not that guy.
Sarah Walker: How many times do you have to be a hero to realise that you are that guy?

Chuck Bartowski: See? Guys can hug.
John Casey: Not if they don't have their man parts.

Sarah Walker: Come any closer, I shoot.
John Casey: You shoot him, I shoot you, I leave both your bodies here and go out for a late night snack. I'm thinking maybe pancakes.

Ted Roark: Put him in the helicopter. Kill the CIA agent.
Steve Bartowski: He's my son.
Ted Roark: He's your son? Congratulations! That's great! I had no idea! Kill the son.

Chuck Bartowski: I have very sensitive sinuses.
John Casey: Well 9mm of hot lead should clear that right out! Did you really think you could run away from me? Let's go.

Cole Barker: Just doing my job, General. Actually, Chuck showed great courage on this mission. He got injured in the line of duty.
John Casey: He got clipped by a window sill. It's as pathetic as it sounds.

John Casey: Bartowski, you're like the poster child for friendly fire.

Sarah Walker: So you want us to break into a government controlled crime scene?
John Casey: It's the F.B.I., how hard can it be?

Chuck Bartowski: I'm just too trusting. Ever since I was a kid, I really wanted to believe what everyone else told me, you know? I'm just getting used to this new job, with the spying and lying.
Sarah Walker: Don't get used to it. What makes you special is that you're not like every other spy. You're a good guy and you want to help people. Leave the deception to me.

John Casey: Sure thing, Chuck. I'll just call all the criminals and rogue spies and let them know to hold on a second because Chuck Bartowski needs to sort out his lady feelings.

John Casey: Relax, I think I see a scenario where we both get out with acceptable losses.
Chuck Bartowski: What exactly is your version of acceptable?
John Casey: Breaks, punctures, possible loss of a limb, no major organ damage.

Chuck Bartowski: I've spent the last year of my life being tortured, dangled off skyscrapers, bathed in sewage. Stop me if I've forgotten any glamorous perks of this job. I've continually done everything that you guys have asked me to do. But once my dad gets kidnapped, all you can say is "Sorry?"

Chuck Bartowski: Look, what if I surrender and you run. I mean I'm going into a cell anyway. What's the difference?
Sarah Walker: Torture.
Chuck Bartowski: Okay, no surrender.

Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: I know you guys work at Buy More, but I'm a doctor, okay? I take risks every day. This is a matter of life or death. Someone needs to man up and take action. Someone needs to be a hero.
Ellie Bartowski: No they don't, Devon. Being a hero is being alive to take care of friends and family.

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