Grace: My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.
Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner - S2-E1
Will: So, I gave my number to that guy at Border's bookstore today...
Grace: Phone number or business card?
Will: Business card...
Grace: Not hot.
Will: What, what do you mean?
Grace: "Hi, I'm intimidated by the possibility of rejection...but my secretary isn't...CALL HER!"
Will: I am not intimidated.
Grace: Then call him.
Will: I know, but I could open my mouth, and...where does that leave me?
Grace: You're a disgrace to your people.
Jack: So what's cookin', average lookin'?
Rosario: I'm sorry lady, I sent them invitations by mistake.
Karen: [sighs.] Oh yeah? I think the real mistake was when your father spotted your mother across a crowded swamp, dragged her back to his hut and made you.
Rosario: I never should have shown you our home movies.
Karen: [storming angrily out of the Principal's Office.] You dragged me down to this God-forsaken place to tell me my kids made the Honor Roll? Honey, my time is precious, call me when one of them gives birth at the prom!
Karen: Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?
Karen: Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a killer rack! Good morning!
Karen: Stan had to take the kids down to Scaresdale to see their real mother. What was her name? Wait a minute, it'll come to me..."Stan, take the kids to see that bitch...Kathy!"
The Unsinkable Mommy Adler - S1-E13
Jack: Anyways, I'm collecting data to put on the Internet. The world should know the truth about C-3PO.
Will: Jack, C-3PO is not gay, he's British.
Von Trapped - S8-E10
Grace: Do you think people can tell I'm Maria even though I don't have my Captain Von Trapp?
Karen: Of course, honey. You make a perfect Maria...you're sweet and perky and you're obviously not cut out to be a nun. 'Cause you're a whore.
Grace: Thanks, Karen!
Karen: And a Jew...
Grace: Yeah, I got it!
A Little Christmas Queer - S8-E9
Karen: Well, the tousled hair, the slightly smeared lipstick, the disheveled clothing. Either you're on your way to work or the holiday whore is back.
Will: The Coalition for Justice sounds like the kind of place where superheroes work. I'm like the gay Superman, waiting to meet my Lewis Lane.
The Old Man And The Sea - S8-E3
Jack: Would you say that I have a swimmer's body?
Will: Unless it's in a trunk in your closet, I'd say no.
The Old Man And The Sea - S8-E3
Grace: Oh my God. This is so delicious. I have been living with a gay guy for so long I forgot what the skin of chicken tastes like.
