Will & Grace

Will & Grace (1998)

34 quotes

New Will City - S3-E1

Grace: My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.

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Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner - S2-E1

Will: So, I gave my number to that guy at Border's bookstore today...
Grace: Phone number or business card?
Will: Business card...
Grace: Not hot.
Will: What, what do you mean?
Grace: "Hi, I'm intimidated by the possibility of rejection...but my secretary isn't...CALL HER!"
Will: I am not intimidated.
Grace: Then call him.
Will: I know, but I could open my mouth, and...where does that leave me?
Grace: You're a disgrace to your people.

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Yours, Mine or Ours - S1-E16

Jack: So what's cookin', average lookin'?

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Bathroom Humor - S8-E11

Rosario: I'm sorry lady, I sent them invitations by mistake.
Karen: [sighs.] Oh yeah? I think the real mistake was when your father spotted your mother across a crowded swamp, dragged her back to his hut and made you.
Rosario: I never should have shown you our home movies.

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Karen: Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?

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Karen: Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a killer rack! Good morning!

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My Uncle the Car - S3-E15

[Grace tries to start the car, but it just clicks.]
Grace: That's weird. Will, what do you think is wrong?
Karen: Oh my God. She just asked a fairy an engine question. We're all gonna die in this car!
Will: Karen, you're not going to die. It would take a silver bullet and a wooden stake to do that.

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Secrets & Lays - S1-E17

Karen: Stan had to take the kids down to Scaresdale to see their real mother. What was her name? Wait a minute, it'll come to me..."Stan, take the kids to see that bitch...Kathy!"

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Secrets & Lays - S1-E17

Grace: Your cook's name is 'Cook'?'
Karen: No, Grace, he has a name. I just don't remember it. No wait a minute, it'll come to me, it'll come to me..."Where are my damned eggs... Paul!" Paul. God, Paul is dead. Now who the hell is gonna cook for us?!

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The Unsinkable Mommy Adler - S1-E13

Jack: Anyways, I'm collecting data to put on the Internet. The world should know the truth about C-3PO.
Will: Jack, C-3PO is not gay, he's British.

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My Fair Maidy - S1-E12

Karen: You know what those rocks need? A little scotch.

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Pilot - S1-E1

Will Truman: Where's Grace?
Karen Walker: Oh honey, thank God. How do you say toy store in Spanish?
Will Truman: Tienda de juguetes.
Karen Walker: Uh-huh, thanks. F-A-O-yeah-Schwartzo. Si siĀ­ Rosario, gracias. Hola.

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Von Trapped - S8-E10

Grace: Do you think people can tell I'm Maria even though I don't have my Captain Von Trapp?
Karen: Of course, honey. You make a perfect Maria...you're sweet and perky and you're obviously not cut out to be a nun. 'Cause you're a whore.
Grace: Thanks, Karen!
Karen: And a Jew...
Grace: Yeah, I got it!

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Von Trapped - S8-E10

Grace: You know what I do when I feel scared?
Jack: Fart a little and then deny it?
Grace: No! Well, after that.

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A Little Christmas Queer - S8-E9

Karen: Well, the tousled hair, the slightly smeared lipstick, the disheveled clothing. Either you're on your way to work or the holiday whore is back.

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Swish Out Of Water - S8-E8

Will: The Coalition for Justice sounds like the kind of place where superheroes work. I'm like the gay Superman, waiting to meet my Lewis Lane.

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Birds of a Feather Boa - S8-E7

Jack: The ratings for Jack Talk came in. We got a 17 rating and a 10 share.
Grace: Wow!
Will: In this case that means 17 people watched and 10 of them dressed as Cher.

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The Old Man And The Sea - S8-E3

Jack: Would you say that I have a swimmer's body?
Will: Unless it's in a trunk in your closet, I'd say no.

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The Old Man And The Sea - S8-E3

Grace: Oh my God. This is so delicious. I have been living with a gay guy for so long I forgot what the skin of chicken tastes like.

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Pilot - S1-E1

Grace: Jealous?
Will: I don't need your man. I've got George Clooney.

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Karen: Anyone homo?
Jack: I am. I am.

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Karen: Grace Alden. I'm ashamed...
Grace: Adler. My last name is Adler.
Karen: Oh... That's pretty.

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Jack: Welcome to Cynical Island, population: you.

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Grace: That's not a complement. A compliment is 'you're sexy', 'you turn me on', not 'one look at you proves I'm a queer'.

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Karen: You say potato, I say vodka.

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Karen: Sorry I'm late. Oh God, that sounded insincere... I'm late!

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Karen: Hey Hey Hey Hey, This is a place of business! We are trying to get some work done in here and we don't need you just barging... Wait, I'm saying it and I don't even buy it!

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Karen: Oh, coulda shoulda prada!

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Karen: It's a victimless crime, like tax evasion or public indecency.

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Will: Got a hot date?
Jack: No, but the guy who's dating me does.

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Karen: [storming angrily out of the Principal's Office.] You dragged me down to this God-forsaken place to tell me my kids made the Honor Roll? Honey, my time is precious, call me when one of them gives birth at the prom!

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Karen: [to Will.] By your inflection I can tell that you think what you're saying is funny, but... No.

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Grace: I want to marry..."the one."
Karen: And well you should, honey. How else are you going to get to "the two" and "the three"?

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Jack: For your information, most people who meet me do not know that I am gay.
Will: Jack, blind and deaf people know you're gay. Dead people know you're gay.
Jack: Grace, when you first met me, did you know I was gay?
Grace: My dog knew.

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