Gus McCrae: A man who wouldn't cheat for a poke don't want one bad enough.
Jake Spoon: A man that will talk to a pig ain't no better than a farmer.
Gus McCrae: I expected you to own a bank or at least a whorehouse by now Jake. It seems life has been a disappointment to both of us.
Jake Spoon: That might be so, but by God, I ain't never said a word to a pig.
Gus McCrae: I'm just tryin' to keep everything in balance, Woodrow. You do more work than you got to, so it's my obligation to do less.
Clara Allen: Sometimes it seems like grave digging is all we do around here, don't it Cholo? What do you think happens when we die?
Cholo: Not too much. You are just dead.
Clara Allen: Maybe it's not as big a change as we think. Maybe you just go back to where you lived or near your family, or wherever you were the happiest. Only you're just a spirit now... and you don't have the troubles the living have.
Newt: Gus, are you sure the Captain is my father?
Gus McCrae: Yep, he is.
Newt: He ain't never mentioned it.
Gus McCrae: Well, Woodrow ain't much of a mentioner.
Woodrow Call: I guess it's our fault we should've shot sooner.
Gus McCrae: I don't want to start thinking Woodrow of all the things we should have done for this good man.
Gus McCrae: It's an accident she is even on this trip.
Clara Allen: I never noticed you having accidents with ugly girls.
Gus McCrae: Lorie darlin', life in San Francisco, you see, is still just life. If you want any one thing too badly, it's likely to turn out to be a disappointment. The only healthy way to live life is to learn to like all the little everyday things, like a sip of good whiskey in the evening, a soft bed, a glass of buttermilk, or a feisty gentleman like myself.
Gus McCrae: Well, I'm glad I ain't scared to be lazy.
Gus McCrae: I could kick you for givin' him all them ideas about Montana. Now we're gonna suffer for the rest of our damn lives.
Jake Spoon: Yeah, I forgot how determined he can get, once an idea takes root.
Gus McCrae: Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is... he's hard to stop.
Woodrow Call: We come to this place to make money. They wasn't nothin' about fun in the deal.
Gus McCrae: What are you talkin' about? You don't even like money. You like money even less than you like fun, if that's possible.
Gus McCrae: Here's to the sunny slopes of long ago.
