Officer Crabtree: I was pissing by the door when I heard a shat.
Renee's Mother in Law: Oh, where is your "get-up-and-go"?
Ernest Leclerc: It has got up and gone.
Capt. Hans Geering: Do you not see that if you kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, then you need not light the candle with the handle on the gateau from the chateau.
René: Simple plans are always the best.
Capt. Hans Geering: Rene, your wife has many talents.
Col. Von Strom: Singing isn't one of them.
Edith: Listen carefully, Michelle said this only once.
Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen: Guards! Arrest all Gypsies driving fire engines.
Col. Von Strom: Ah, Helga. What can we do for you?
Capt. Hans Geering: Judging from past experience, very little.
Yvette Carte-Blanche: What is happening?
Maria Recamier: We were both aroused by the banging.
Edith: I too was aroused by the banging.
Roger Leclerc: I was aroused when I saw the girls with the candles.
René: But you won't shoot me?
Col. Von Strom: That goes without saying.
René: I would feel better if you said it, just the same.
Helga: What about the good news?
Herr Flick: The good news is there is no more bad news.
Michelle Dubois: Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.
René: Well, in that case, could you please speak slowly?
Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen: Heil Hitler.
Officer Crabtree: Hole Hotler.
Officer Crabtree: God Moaning. The resist-once have accqo-aired a bum. They are going to ex-plod the whaleway brodge.
Edith: Tonight I will sing as I have never sung before.
René: What, in tune?
Lt. Hubert Gruber: Would you like to come for a ride in my little tank?
Herr Flick: I will not be reporting this incident to Berlin. I do not wish to look a right 'nana.