Quotes from Jason Schwartzman movies and TV shows - page 2 of 3

Rosemary Cross: That's none of your business.
Max Fischer: I know it's not, but I just got hit my a car and I'm feeling a little confused.

Max Fischer: So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross?
Dr. Peter Flynn: We went to Harvard together.
Max Fischer: Oh that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I'm not sweating it either.

Max Fischer: Tell that stupid Mick he just made my list of things to do today.

Max Fischer: How the hell did you get so rich? You're a quitter, man.
Herman Blume: I spent eight million dollars on this.
Max Fischer: And is that all you're willing to spend?

Rosemary Cross: Has it ever crossed your mind that you're far too young for me?
Max Fischer: It crossed my mind that you might consider that a possibility, yeah.

Rosemary Cross: Do you think we're going to have sex?
Max Fischer: That's a kinda cheap way to put it.
Rosemary Cross: Not if you've ever fucked before, it isn't.

Margaret Yang: You're a real jerk to me, you know that?
Max Fischer: I'm sorry, Margaret.
Margaret Yang: Well anyway, nice to see you.

Max Fischer: Sic transit gloria. Glory fades. I'm Max Fischer.
Rosemary Cross: Hi.
Max Fischer: Hi.

Max Fischer: Thay are going to cancel Latin. They've got to make room for Japanese.
Rosemary Cross: Well that's a shame because all the Romance languages are based on Latin.
Max Fischer: Yeah, they are, aren't they.
Rosemary Cross: Nihilo sanctum estne?
Max Fischer: What's that? Oh, it's Latin. What does that mean?
Rosemary Cross: Is nothing sacred?

Rosemary Cross: I'll show you the door.
Max Fischer: I'll just go back out the window.

Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: O, R they?

Max Fischer: So you were in Vietnam?
Herman Blume: Yeah.
Max Fischer: Were you in the shit?
Herman Blume: Yeah, I was in the shit.

Herman Blume: She's my Rushmore.
Max Fischer: I know. She was mine too.

Max Fischer: What do you call getting a handjob from Mrs. Calloway in the back of her Jaguar?
Magnus Buchan: A fucking lie.
Max Fischer: You think I got kicked out because of just the aquarium? Nah, it was the handjob. And you know what else? It was worth it.

Herman Blume: Come work for me.
Max Fischer: What do you mean?
Herman Blume: I mean I-I could use someone like you.
Max Fischer: Look, I may not be rich, Mr. Blume, my father may only be a doctor, but we manage.

Rosemary Cross: Well, you pulled it off.
Max Fischer: Yeah, it went okay. At least nobody got hurt.
Rosemary Cross: Except you.

Max Fischer: Your mind's as warped as your ear, Magnus.
Magnus Buchan: Don't Get Nasty, Brother.

Max Fischer: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future.
Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship.
Max Fischer: But we're friends.
Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're going to be. Well, yes.
Max Fischer: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?

Max Fischer: War does funny things to men.

Herman Blume: Why did you ask me to come here?
Max Fischer: Oh, I was going to drop that tree on you.
Herman Blume: That big one?
Max Fischer: Yeah.
Herman Blume: It would've flattened me like a pancake.

More Rushmore quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.