Herman Blume: Come work for me.
Max Fischer: What do you mean?
Herman Blume: I mean I-I could use someone like you.
Max Fischer: Look, I may not be rich, Mr. Blume, my father may only be a doctor, but we manage.
Backgammon Player: Did you hear they're teaching Japanese next year?
Max Fischer: That's the rumor.
Backgammon Player: And they're canceling Latin.
Max Fischer: What? I tried to get Latin canceled for five years! It's a dead language, I always say.
Backgammon Player: Well, I guess they finally heard you.
Max Fischer: My top schools where I want to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne. My safety's Harvard.
Max Fischer: Thay are going to cancel Latin. They've got to make room for Japanese.
Rosemary Cross: Well that's a shame because all the Romance languages are based on Latin.
Max Fischer: Yeah, they are, aren't they.
Rosemary Cross: Nihilo sanctum estne?
Max Fischer: What's that? Oh, it's Latin. What does that mean?
Rosemary Cross: Is nothing sacred?
Rosemary Cross: Well, you pulled it off.
Max Fischer: Yeah, it went okay. At least nobody got hurt.
Rosemary Cross: Except you.
Herman Blume: What does Guggenheim say?
Max Fischer: Nothing. I felt I should go to you first.
Herman Blume: Why?
Max Fischer: Because at this moment I feel our best strategy is to keep a low profile. The more preparation I can do, the stronger our case will be when we go to the administration.
Herman Blume: How much do you want?
Max Fischer: $35.000 for the initial plans.
Herman Blume: I'll give you $2500.
Herman Blume: You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: It's Fischer.
Max Fischer: Your mind's as warped as your ear, Magnus.
Magnus Buchan: Don't Get Nasty, Brother.
Mr. Littlejeans: Best play ever, man.
Rosemary Cross: I'll show you the door.
Max Fischer: I'll just go back out the window.
Max Fischer: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future.
Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship.
Max Fischer: But we're friends.
Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're going to be. Well, yes.
Max Fischer: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?
Rosemary Cross: That's none of your business.
Max Fischer: I know it's not, but I just got hit my a car and I'm feeling a little confused.
Magnus Buchan: I always wanted to be in one of your fuckin' plays.
Max Fischer: War does funny things to men.
Max Fischer: So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross?
Dr. Peter Flynn: We went to Harvard together.
Max Fischer: Oh that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I'm not sweating it either.
Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: O, R they?
Herman Blume: Why did you ask me to come here?
Max Fischer: Oh, I was going to drop that tree on you.
Herman Blume: That big one?
Max Fischer: Yeah.
Herman Blume: It would've flattened me like a pancake.
Max Fischer: Tell that stupid Mick he just made my list of things to do today.
Max Fischer: So you were in Vietnam?
Herman Blume: Yeah.
Max Fischer: Were you in the shit?
Herman Blume: Yeah, I was in the shit.
