Quotes from Jason Schwartzman movies and TV shows

Jack: Do you want to go in the bathroom and smoke a cigarette with me?

Jack: I think he's still in mourning.
Francis: Well I probably still am too.

Peter: I like how mean you are.
Jack: The characters are all... Thanks.

Peter: I can't believe you just said that.
Francis: Why not? It's the truth.
Jack: He didn't really mean it.
Alice: I think you're all equally grief-stricken. Let's just leave it at that.

Patricia: It's over.
Jack: Not for us.

Francis: I guess I've still got a lot of healing to do.
Jack: Gettin' there, though.
Peter: Anyway, it's definitely going to add a lot of character to you.

Jack: I wonder if the three of us would've been friends in real life. Not as brothers, but as people.

Jack: You wanna read a short story I wrote in France?
Francis: How long is it?
Jack: What?
Francis: How long is it?
Jack: How long is it? Never mind. Forget it.

Peter: What about our snake?
The Chief Steward: It's dead.
Peter: He killed it?
Jack: It's got to be against his religion or something.

More The Darjeeling Limited quotes

Albert Markovski: Nobody sits like this rock sits. You rock, rock. The rock just sits and is. You show us how to just sit here and that's what we need.

Albert Markovski: No, I'm not. I'm talking about not covering every square inch with houses and strip malls until you can't remember what happens when you stand in a meadow at dusk.
Bret: What happens in the meadow at dusk?
Albert Markovski: Everything.
Mrs. Hooten: Nothing.
Albert Markovski: Everything.
Mrs. Hooten: Nothing.
Albert Markovski: Everything.
Mrs. Hooten: Nothing.
Albert Markovski: It's beautiful.
Tommy Corn: It's beautiful.

Tommy Corn: Ah, here he comes.
Albert Markovski: Oh, boy.
Tommy Corn: The man-poet who banged France's dark lady of philosophy. The parking lot crusader of truth... who turned his back on his other like a cold-blooded gangsta.

Mr. Hooten: What happened to the cat, Albert?
Albert Markovski: How'd you know about my cat?
Mr. Hooten: The cat was killed by curiosity.
Albert Markovski: Oh, right, that cat.

Albert Markovski: The interconnection thing is definitely for real.
Tommy Corn: It is! I didn't think it wasn't! It is.
Albert Markovski: I know, I can't believe it, it's so fantastic.
Tommy Corn: It's amazing.
Albert Markovski: I know.
Tommy Corn: But it's also nothing special.

More I Heart Huckabees quotes

Klaus: Ho ho ho.
Jesper: Wait, wait, wait. Time out. Really? THAT'S how you laugh?

Jesper: Come on! We're running out of time! Those kids are counting on us.

More Klaus quotes

Louis XVI: Ooooh! Your feet are like icicles.

Marie-Antoinette: So, I hear you like to make keys as a hobby?
Louis XVI: Yes.
Marie-Antoinette: And do you enjoy making keys?
Louis XVI: Obviously.

More Marie Antoinette quotes

Backgammon Player: Did you hear they're teaching Japanese next year?
Max Fischer: That's the rumor.
Backgammon Player: And they're canceling Latin.
Max Fischer: What? I tried to get Latin canceled for five years! It's a dead language, I always say.
Backgammon Player: Well, I guess they finally heard you.

Herman Blume: What does Guggenheim say?
Max Fischer: Nothing. I felt I should go to you first.
Herman Blume: Why?
Max Fischer: Because at this moment I feel our best strategy is to keep a low profile. The more preparation I can do, the stronger our case will be when we go to the administration.
Herman Blume: How much do you want?
Max Fischer: $35.000 for the initial plans.
Herman Blume: I'll give you $2500.

More Rushmore quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.