Kaylee: In order to get what we need, we are talking complete physical and psychoemotional breakdown, people! I want to see a broken man. I'm talking like, "Oh, I just threw a baseball through your window" broken. Snap him like a twig! Squeeze him like a bug! I want you to turn him into mincemeat! And I don't even know what mincemeat is! I want him to scream for his mommy! WAH! WAH! MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY! Do you read me people? DO YOU READ ME? Cause I don't think you read me!
Jason: I think they read you.
Kaylee: Fair enough.
Motormouth Maybelle: [to Seaweed and Penny.] Oh, so this is love? [She pauses and then smiles.] Well, love is a gift, a lot of people don't remember that. So, you two better brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you from a neverending parade of stupid.
Penny Pingleton: [Totally serious.] So, you've met my mom?
Olivia: You're right.
Viola: I know.
Olivia: The next time I see Sebastian, I am gonna march right up to him.
Viola: You march.
Olivia: ...I'm gonna tell him how I feel.
Viola: You tell him.
Olivia: ...and then I'm going to kiss him so passionately.
Olivia: ...that even the people he hates will feel pleasure.
Viola: Speaking as a completely objective third party observer with absolutely no personal interest in the matter.
Daphne: So Monique's getting you all excited about being a debutant, huh?
Viola: Thuper duper exthited! Have a good carnival.
Viola: You know the percentage of bands that actually make it to the big time?
Sebastian: Probably the same as female soccer players.
Viola: Speaking as a completely third party objective with absolutely no personal interest in the matter, I'm not really sure that you and Olivia really mesh well together.
Viola: I just can't do this.
Paul: Just remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. That came out wrong but you know what I mean.
Toby: I need your advice man. I got lady troubles.
Viola: I'm here for you bro. I got a lifetime of knowledge.