Ken: You coming up?
Ray: What's up there?
Ken: Well, the view.
Ray: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here.
Ken: Ray, you're about the worst tourist in the whole world!
Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I'd grown up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me. But I didn't, so it doesn't!
Ken: You coming up?
Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?. Still leaves you a cunt.
Ken: Your girlfriend's very pretty.
Jimmy: She's ain't my girlfriend. She's a prostitute I just picked up.
Ken: I was not aware that there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places... Brothels are good.
Ken: Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
Jimmy: Thank you.
Harry: Not only have you let the kid get away and failed to kill the kid, you have also prevented the kid from killin' himself, which would have solved all my problems, it would have solved all your problems, and it probably would have solved all of his problems!
Ken: It wouldn't have solved his problems, Harry.
Hector: [Holding up a severed toe.] Is this the man that was killed?
Sheriff Hank Keough: He seemed... Taller.
Hector: You got to fire your big gun. Did it meet your expectations?
Sheriff Hank Keough: Overrated.
Thomas Coughlin: People don't fix each other, Joseph. And they never become anything but what they've always been.
Knuckles McGinty: I don't do nothing for no one for nothing.
Menelaus: May the gods keep the wolves in the hills and the women in our beds.
[After Paris is sliced in the leg by Menelaus, during their duel.]
Menelaus: See the crows? They never tasted prince before.
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