Fitz: I don't understand a fucking word you're saying. It's like you're speaking Brazilian.
Cousin Marv: It's not fucking Brazilian. Brazilians speak Portuguese.
Cousin Marv: "Find my money." If we knew where their money was, it would mean we knew who robbed us. Which would mean we were in on it, which means they'd shoot us in the face. These fucking Chechnyans.
Bob: Chechens, Marv.
Cousin Marv: What?
Bob: They're Chechens. They're from Chechnya, but you call them Chechens.
Cousin Marv: Yeah, they're from Chechnya.
Bob: Yeah, I said that. You don't call people from Ireland Irelandians, do you?
Eva: I don't usually park in front of your house. I usually just drive by.
Albert: Sometimes I drive by your house, too.
Eva: You do?
Albert: So while you were, uh, being torn, she was poisoning our relationship and poisoning your perception of me. Now why would you want that?
Eva: I don't know, I mean, except maybe I was trying to protect myself, you know, because, you know, we've both been married before. And you know how things can turn out.
Albert: What about us? What about protecting us?
Eva: I didn't protect us.
Eva: Oh, the Container Store?
Albert: Yes, yes, the Container Store. The store that sells crap so you can put your crap in so you can go out and buy some more crap.
Eva: I love that store. I love crap.
Deli Man: How's the holidays?
Tom Valco: Considering I got a pain in my ass about six feet tall in my house, all right.
Christine Valco: Tom, that guy is still here.
Tom Valco: Yeah, I know.
Christine Valco: Why is he still here?
Tom Valco: He's giving us $250,000 to be his family for Christmas.
Christine Valco: And you agreed to this without asking me?
Tom Valco: Of course I did, he's giving us $250,000.
Christine Valco: And how would you like it if I agreed to something like this without asking you?
Tom Valco: Well, that would depend. Would we be getting $250,000?
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