Quotes from Woody Harrelson movies and TV shows

Stan Lloyd: It's okay to be happy to see me. Just because you're English doesn't mean you need to hide your emotions.
Max Burdett: I'm Irish. We let people know how we feel. Now fuck off.

Woody: Jack Frost nipping at your toes, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Yeah, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver.

Woody: What's shakin', Mr. Peterson?
Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins.

Woody: How can Darth Vader be Luke Skywalker's father? They don't even have the same last name.

Woody: Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.
Norm: I know. If she calls, I'm not here.

Paint Your Office - S6-E6

Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Let's talk about what's going in Mr. Peterson.

ckbyers

Let Sleeping Drakes Lie - S6-E18

Woody: Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early, isn't it Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.

ckbyers

Woody: Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Alright, but stop me at one. Make that one-thirty.

Woody: Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass.

Defendor: When you break the law, you're a punk. When you break it with a badge, you're a punk with a badge. I don't strike officers. Punks? Different story.

Bishop73

Nancy Lee Nicholson: Is that a star?
Hank Gordon: No, that's Ted Danson.

Hank Gordon: I hate a tight hat.

Bill Maher: Okay, since we have Ray Pekurny on the panel today, we thought we'd talk to him about his book. It is called "My Brother Pissed On Me." Is that a metaphorical title or did he really piss on you?
Ray Pekurny: I put it - I put it in the book.
Bill Maher: Okay, then. Well, I'll be honest, I haven't read it, because, frankly, it sounds kind of stupid.

Steve Schmidt: You seem totally unfazed by all this.
Sarah Palin: It's God's plan.

Steve Schmidt: Still think she's fit for office?
Rick Davis: Aw, who cares. In forty-eight hours no-one will even remember who she is.

Steve Schmidt: I need you to step in and talk to her.
John McCain: I don't know, Stevie-boy. I don't know.
Steve Schmidt: Sir, I can't control her anymore. I don't know if she's getting on a campaign plane in the morning or what she's gonna say at night. We need to finish this campaign with as much dignity as possible and the only way that can happen is if you get her in line.
John McCain: That's not gonna do it, Steve. She might start turning on me.

Steve Schmidt: What the fuck is the Alaska Independence Party and was she ever a member of it?
Tucker Eskew: The AIP is a political party whose sole platform is the secession of Alaska from the Union.
Steve Schmidt: Well ain't that a hoot.

Rick Davis: Culvahouse cleared her.
Steve Schmidt: With what? Wikipedia?

Rick Davis: Listen, I too wish that the American people would choose the future Abraham Lincoln or Thomas Jefferson, but unfortunately, that's not the way it works anymore. Now it takes movie-star charisma to get elected President, and Obama and Palin, that's what they are - they're stars.
Steve Schmidt: Primary difference being Sarah Palin can't name a Supreme Court decision, whereas Barack Obama was a constitutional law professor.
Rick Davis: Fuck you.

Mark Salter: John is getting slammed for making an irresponsible choice.
Steve Schmidt: We picked her.
Mark Salter: No, you two picked her and then slapped her on the butt and shoved her out there under a banner saying "Country First".