Dr. Benjamin Stone: You want to trade, the pig for the part?
Melvin the Mechanic: If you can part with the pig.
Dr. Benjamin Stone: Good.
Nancy Lee Nicholson: Is that a star?
Hank Gordon: No, that's Ted Danson.
Dr. Aurelius Hogue: Tell us about real doctoring Stone.You know, big-city medicine.
Dr. Benjamin Stone: Well so much has changed in the forty years since you went to medical school doctor, I really wouldn't know where to start.
Dr. Aurelius Hogue: Smart-ass.
Dr. Benjamin Stone: Are you allergic to penicillin?
Simon Tidwell, First Patient: Don't know.You'd have to ask doc Hogue.
Dr. Benjamin Stone: I doubt doc Hogue knows it's even been discovered.
Dr. Benjamin Stone: I am so fucked.
Deputy Cotton: Watch your language doc.You're in the buckle of the bible belt here.Try saying fudge or something.
Dr. Benjamin Stone: Fiddlesticks too strong?
Deputy Cotton: Depends.
Dr. Benjamin Stone: What are you talking about?
Mayor Nick Nicholson: Timing. Same thing with women. And with southern women, well, they require a substantial commitment. You might have to stay here six months, I don't know, maybe more.
Dr. Benjamin Stone: Are you a betting man, Nick?
Mayor Nick Nicholson: Well, I have been known on occasion.
Dr. Benjamin Stone: It'll take me about a week.
Mayor Nick Nicholson: Wait a minute, you mean... Vialula in the center pocket?
Dr. Benjamin Stone: Okay, let's get something straight right now.I got eight years of higher education, I got one year of internship, I got one year of residency.I'm 70'000 dollars in debt.Now I'm waylaid in this heehaw hell, and you insist on clocking me in and out like I'm some kind of factory worker.Well no!N-O, no!This is where I draw the line.
Hank Gordon: I hate a tight hat.
Dr. Benjamin Stone: The music's stopped.
Vialula: What music?
Dr. Benjamin Stone: Listen, doctor, I've got a boy here in cardiac crisis.You can't treat that with Coca-Cola or Bisquick.We're gonna have to use real medicine this time.Now I'm sending him to Athens General.You're his regular fucking doctor, you get your fat ass out of bed, get down there and go with him.
Nancy Lee Nicholson: I read somewhere that doctors have the highest suicide rate in any profession except for dentistry.
Dr. Tommy Shulman: At the risk of sounding schmaltzy, I just want to tell you that you're a schmuck, and I hope I never see you again.
Answer: That's just the long-standing relationship they had with Doc Hogue and assumed it would continue with Dr. Stone. Hogue was more than a doctor to the town folk. He was a strong father-figure that everyone felt they could go to for a variety of reasons. Also, this is a comedy film, so the characters and their situations are deliberately cliched and quirky.
raywest ★