Quotes from Macaulay Culkin movies and TV shows

Check-Out Woman: Are you here all by yourself?
Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here *alone*? I don't think so.

Kevin McCallister: This is extremely important. Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back. No toys, nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie, and Jeff. And my aunt and my cousins. And if he has time, my Uncle Frank. Okay?

Kevin McCallister: You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?

Kevin McCallister: This is my house, I have to defend it.

Kevin McCallister: Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?
Clerk: Well, I don't know. It doesn't say, hon.
Kevin McCallister: Well, could you please find out?

Kevin McCallister: I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including inbetween my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape.

Kevin McCallister: I made my family disappear.

Bishop73

Kevin McCallister: A lovely cheese pizza, just for me.

Kevin McCallister: Buzz?
Buzz McCallister: Don't you know how to knock, phlegm wad?
Kevin McCallister: Can I sleep in your room? I don't wanna sleep on the hide-a-bed with the Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed.
Buzz McCallister: I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!

Cedric the Bellman: You know, Herbert Hoover once stayed here on this floor.
Kevin McCallister: The vacuum guy?
Cedric the Bellman: No, the President.

Kevin McCallister: Howdy do. This is Peter McCallister, the father. I'd like a hotel room please, with an extra large bed, a TV, and one of those little refrigerators you have to open with a key. Credit card? You got it.

Cedrick the Bellman: Do you know how the TV works?
Kevin McCallister: I'm 10 years old. TV is my life.

Kevin McCallister: You can mess with a lot of things, but you can't mess with kids on Christmas.

Waiter: Two scoops, sir?
Kevin McCallister: Two? Make it three. I'm not driving.

Kevin McCallister: Don't you know a kid always wins against two idiots?

Kevin McCallister: Excuse me, where's the lobby?
Donald Trump: Down the hall and to the left.
Kevin McCallister: Thanks.

Thomas J. Sennett: Vada?
Vada Sultenfuss: Yeah?
Thomas J. Sennett: Would you think of me?
Vada Sultenfuss: For what?
Thomas J. Sennett: Well, if you don't get to marry Mr. Bixler.
Vada Sultenfuss: I guess.

Vada: Pacifist.
Thomas J. Sennett: Am not.
Vada: Bedwetter.
Thomas J. Sennett: I stopped that.

Richard Tyler: Do I click my heels or something?
Fantasy: You're in the wrong story, honey.

Dr. Jekyll: My boy, I derive no pleasure in telling you that you are in extreme danger.
Richard Tyler: Danger?
Dr. Jekyll: Even as we speak.