Cedric the Bellman: You know, Herbert Hoover once stayed here on this floor.
Kevin McCallister: The vacuum guy?
Cedric the Bellman: No, the President.
Kevin McCallister: Howdy do. This is Peter McCallister, the father. I'd like a hotel room please, with an extra large bed, a TV, and one of those little refrigerators you have to open with a key. Credit card? You got it.
Kate McCallister: What kind of idiots do you have working here?
Desk Clerk: The finest in New York.
Harry: That's very smart, Marv. You bust outta jail to rob 14 cents from a Santa Claus?
Marv: Every little bit helps. Besides, now we got our new nicknames. We're the Sticky Bandits.
Waiter: Two scoops, sir?
Kevin McCallister: Two? Make it three. I'm not driving.
Kevin McCallister: You can mess with a lot of things, but you can't mess with kids on Christmas.
Cedrick the Bellman: Do you know how the TV works?
Kevin McCallister: I'm 10 years old. TV is my life.
Kevin: Yikes! I did it again.
Kevin McCallister: Excuse me, where's the lobby?
Donald Trump: Down the hall and to the left.
Kevin McCallister: Thanks.
Kevin McCallister: Don't you know a kid always wins against two idiots?
Chosen answer: Remember that Kevin didn't give his name, nor did the police ever see him. When he called, it was from a different address and he gave his name as "Murphy." There is no reason to think that Harry and Marv would tell the police about Kevin, since they would have to admit being outsmarted by a child and also admit to kidnapping, assault, battery, and a wide array of charges for what they tried to do to him. Even if he did testify, there is no reason to think his parents wouldn't know.
Greg Dwyer
And by the way Kevin knew nobody would believe him.
Not entirely correct - He rang the Police from the phone in his parents bedroom just before the spider scene.