Katie Marks: I've never been closer to anyone, and I don't know you at all.
Katie Marks: My father always said to only regret the things you didn't do not the things you did. But I had an abortion and I don't know if that's something I did or didn't do.
Tinka Parker: It's what we've always wanted, boys at Ms. Goddards.
Verena Von Stefan: Oh yeah you'd just go out and greet them with open legs.
Odette: Hey now they're going to have to call it Ms. Go-nads.
Tinka Parker: Look, Von Stefan. I know you like this place the way it is, but wake up. It's not real life. Real life is boy, girl, boy, girl.
Verena Von Stefan: No, real life is boy on top of girl.
Tinka Parker: Are you carrying Dennis' child?
Verena Von Stefan: You can tell Tinka, she's had four pregnancy scares.
Tinka Parker: Four.
Tweety: Was it beautiful, when he spent himself inside you?
Odette: Do you actually expect me to answer these questions?
Momo: But we're curious. We all have our hymens except Tinka.
Verena Von Stefan: That's enough, she doesn't want to describe it. It's like hog wrestling isn't that right Odes?
Tinka Parker: I don't even think she's done with Dennis yet.
Miss McVane: More tea?
Verena Von Stefan: No thank you.
Miss McVane: Cigarette?
Verena Von Stefan: Sure.
Miss McVane: Catch.
Isis: You wanna make it right? Then when you go to Nationals... bring it. Don't slack off because you feel sorry for us. That way, when we beat you, we'll know it's because we're better.
Torrance Shipman: Oh, I'll bring it. Don't worry.
Isis: I never do.
Torrance Shipman: You're a great cheerleader, Aaron, it's just that... maybe you're not exactly "boyfriend material." Buh-bye.
Missy: So is every game that eventful?
Torrance Shipman: No, thank God. We have a real situation on our hands. I mean, we were humiliated on our own turf.
Missy: We might have to have a rumble.
Torrance Shipman: This is a serious problem.
Missy: Oh, so is your breath.
Kasey: Except, it's gonna cost us $2,000.
Darcy: Do I have the letters 'A-T-M' tatooed on my forehead?
Torrance Shipman: I was thinking more D-A-D-D-Y.
Torrance Shipman: So, is that your band or something?
Cliff: The Clash? Uh... no. It's a British punk band, circa 1977 to 1983-ish, original lineup anyway.
Torrance Shipman: How vintage.
Missy: See, I'm a hardcore gymnast. No way jumping up and down yelling "Go Team Go!" is gonna satisfy me.
Torrance Shipman: We're gymnasts too, except no beams, no bars, no vault.
Torrance Shipman: Missy is bank.
Courtney: Uh, bankrupt.
Torrance Shipman: Courtney, this is not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy. I'm sorry, but I'm overruling you.
Courtney: You are being a cheer-tator Torrance and a pain in my ass.
Missy: You ripped off those cheers.
Torrance Shipman: Excuse me, Missy, our cheers are 100% original. Count the trophies.
Missy: Well, your trophies are bullshit, and you're a sadass liar.
Torrance Shipman: All right, that's it! Get out of the car, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Torrance Shipman: Well, I hope you're not too busy to hear this. Kiss my ass, Aaron. It's over.
Les: You know, everyone's saying that your ambition broke Carver's leg.
Torrance Shipman: When really it was the angle in which she slammed into the ground.
Les: Kasey did a massive e-mail last night, misspelled "leg."
Torrance Shipman: Shut up.
Les: Two G's.
Charlie Chaplin: If you were starving and you had no food, would you eat your shoe?
Marion Davies: What?
Charlie Chaplin: Your shoe. Would you eat it?
Marion Davies: Um, of course I would.
Charlie Chaplin: You would?
Marion Davies: I'd have to boil it first.
Charlie Chaplin: That's funny.
