Quotes from Danny Trejo movies and TV shows

Slim: What are you, some kind of Astronaut?
Jimmy: No, I'm some kind of bubble boy.

Slim: Don't live in regret, ese.

Johnny 23: Do you know what I am?
Cameron Poe: Ugly all day.

Goldberg: Forget everything you know about racing. Desert-racing isn't about speed, it's about endurance and handling.
Carl Lucas: Hang on, I thought you didn't know shit about this kind of racing?
Goldberg: I don't. It's the first thing that came up on Google.

Machete: Machete don't text.

Padre Benito del Toro: It's not safe for you to be here.
Machete: I'm not looking for "safe."
Padre Benito del Toro: No, I mean it's not safe for me for you to be here!

Luz: I thought Machete don't text.
Machete: Machete loves everybody.

Mendez: Special Agent Mendez.
Machete: How many of you are there?
Mendez: Sorry, that's classified.

Voz: I never saw this.
Machete: Machete happens.

Machete: Machete don't joke.

Machete: Machete don't tweet.

Machete: Good luck on that pageant.
Miss San Antonio: I'm gonna need a lot more than luck! Did you see the ass of Miss Corpus Christi?

Machete: You're crazy.
Mendez: With a capital C, muchacho.

Voz: Mendez wasn't my only boogeyman. North Korea, Russia, I have a Mendez everywhere. And in a matter of hours, they'll launch on one another, throwing the world into gargantuan, unrecoverable anarchy. Too many syllables? The world is fucked.
Machete: Why?
Voz: This world must end in order for a more perfect one to emerge. And like it or not, Mr. Machete, you're coming with me.

Royce: What's the last thing you remember?
Cuchillo: All of a sudden, there was a light. And then, I was falling.

Isabelle: We need to work as a team.
Cuchillo: Does this look like a team orientated group of individuals to you?