Quotes from Christopher Walken movies and TV shows

Feng: Ladies and Gentlemen. Athletes. I bid you Toodles.

Feng: Less talkie-talkie, more ping-pong.

Feng: What part of "sudden death" didn't you understand?

Feng: Represent.

Selina Kyle: Ok, Intimidate me, bully me if it makes you feel big. I mean it's not like you can just kill me...
Max Shreck: Actually, it's a lot like that.

Max Shreck: Women. Nothing surprises me Chip, except your late mother. Who'da thought Selina had a brain to damage? Bottom line, she tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out a higher window. Meantime, I got better fish to fry.

Max Shreck: Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed as Batman?
Catwoman: Because he *is* Batman, you moron!

Adam, Age 11: What's baseball?
Calvin: It's a game, son. I can explain it pretty easily. See, there's a pitcher.
Adam, Age 11: Oh, like a painting.
Calvin: No, a pitch-er.
Adam, Age 11: Like one of mom's?
Calvin: No. There's a man who throws the ball to a man who has a bat.
Adam, Age 11: Oh! The nocturnal flying mammal?

Calvin: Son. Adam.
Adam: Yes, Father?
Calvin: Don't forget: stay out of the adult bookstore.
Adam: Adult bookstore. Why?
Calvin: Poison gas. Invisible.

Morty: Think about it, you've skipped a year. That's a lot of sex. That's like, thirty minutes worth for you.

Morty: Something stinks like stale French fries.
Michael Newman: Oh yeah, that's probably me.
Morty: You know, fast food shortens your life.
Michael Newman: That's what they tell me, but the way my life's going right now, that wouldn't be so bad.

Morty: I'm gonna show you a remote we just got in that's probably the most advanced piece of technology that we have in this place.
Michael Newman: Sounds sweet.
Morty: It is sweet. The latest, greatest universal remote not even on the market yet.
Michael Newman: Ooh. I guess the O'Doyles' remote can kiss my advanced-technological ass then.
Morty: I don't know the O'Doyles, but... they can bite it hard.

Robert: Let me tell you something: My father was a very big man. And all his life he wore a black mustache. When it was no longer black, he used a small brush, such as ladies use for their eyes. Mascara.

Johnny Smith: "Bless me"? Do you know what God did for me? He threw an 18-wheeled truck at me and bounced me into nowhere for five years! When I woke up, my girl was gone, my job was gone, my legs are just about useless... Blessed me? God's been a real sport to me.

Sarah Bracknell: You're looking good.
Johnny Smith: Yeah, it's called the coma diet - lose weight while ya sleep.

Johnny Smith: Your father says there's something wrong with you, he wants me to bring you out of your shell. I don't know what to do.
Chris Stuart: You don't have to do anything. It's my dad that lives in a shell, not me.

Johnny Smith: Your house is burning! There's still time.

Army Doctor: Chevotarevich, is that a Russian name?
Nick: No, it's an American name.

Nick: I don't think about that much with one shot anymore, Mike.
Michael: You have to think about one shot. One shot is what it's all about. A deer's gotta be taken with one shot.

Bar Girl: Okay, what you like to call me now? What you like to call me?
Nick: Linda.