Quotes from Bradley Cooper movies and TV shows - page 2 of 5

Rocket Raccoon: That's for if things get really hardcore. Or if you wanna blow up moons.
Gamora: No one's blowing up moons.
Rocket Raccoon: You just wanna suck the joy out of everything.

Rocket Raccoon: Why would you want to save the galaxy?
Peter Quill: Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!

Gamora: And Quill... Your ship is filthy [walks away].
Peter Quill: Oh she has no idea. If I had a blacklight, this would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.
Rocket Raccoon: You got issues, Quill.

Rocket Raccoon: No, Groot... Don't do this, you'll die... Why are you doing this?
Groot: We are Groot.

Rocket Raccoon: Keep her on up there, Saal. We'll take care of the people down here.
Garthan Saal: I can't believe I'm taking orders from a hamster.

Friso94

Rocket Raccoon: Fine, but I can't promise when all of this is over I'm not going to kill every last one of you jerks.
Peter Quill: See, this is exactly why none of you have any friends!

Peter Quill: I'm not about to be taken down by a tree and a talking raccoon...
Rocket Raccoon: What's a raccoon?
Peter Quill: "What's a raccoon?" It's what you are, stupid!
Rocket Raccoon: Ain't no thing like me, except me.

Rocket Raccoon: Well now I'm standing. Happy? We're all standing now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.

Groot: I am Groot.
Peter Quill: Well that's just as fascinating as the first 89 times. What is wrong with Giving Tree here?
Rocket Raccoon: Well he don't know talkin' good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to 'I' and 'am' and 'Groot,' exclusively in that order.
Peter Quill: Well I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin, real fast, bud.

Rocket: Look at this guy! Can you believe they call us criminals when he's assaulting us with that haircut.

Bishop73

Rocket Raccoon: [looking at Stan Lee.] Look at Mr. Smiles over here. Where's your wife, old man? What a class-A prevert.

Bishop73

Phil: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you. I mean Lauren is an angel.
Doug: Yeah, she really is amazing.
Stu: Ah, you guys are sweet.
Phil: Not big breasts on her, but still a solid rack for an Asian.

Phil: It happened again.
Tracy: Seriously, what is wrong with you three?

Phil: Stu come on, get up. We got a situation.
Stu: Where are we?
Phil: You're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be ok.

Phil: And her dad hates you.
Stu: He doesn't hate me. He's just never spoken to me. I think it's a cultural thing.

Phil: Oh please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us.
Stu: Oh, this will be good.
Phil: Stu, think about it. You ended up ditching Mellisa and two years later you meet your true soulmate. You take Vegas out of that equation and you would have married a cunt. [To the shocked patrons.] Oh it's ok. No, it's ok. It's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody. Oh wait, there's no alcohol - I forgot we're at a fucking IHOP!

Alan: None of you know Stu like I do. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not nobody knows Stu like I do. No one. I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made a pact, more important than blood. What I can tell you is this. This is not Stu's first marriage. There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago..."
Phil: Time's up.

Stu: I told myself I would never come back.
Phil: Don't worry, it all ends tonight.

Mr. Chow: I am invisible.
Phil: Hey! That's not invisible, that's INVINCIBLE.

Stu Price: You do know counting cards is illegal, right?
Alan Garner: Counting cards isn't illegal. It's frowned upon... Like masturbating on an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
Alan Garner: Maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so damn sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden!