Quotes from Bradley Cooper movies and TV shows - page 3 of 5

Phil Wenneck: [using the loudspeaker on a police car.] Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack. [To himself.] I should have been a fucking cop.

Phil Wenneck: You're not really wearing that are you?
Alan Garner: Wearing what?
Phil Wenneck: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you just fuckin' with me?
Alan Garner: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil Wenneck: So does Joy Behar.

Phil Wenneck: We'll deal with the baby later.
Stu Price: Phil, we're not gonna leave the baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!

Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: Listen, we fucked up. We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours!
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... That's not gonna happen.

Phil Wenneck: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.

Stu Price: They're really a lot more mature than you think.
Phil Wenneck: Paging Doctor Faggot! Paging Doctor Faggot!
Melissa: You should probably go, Doctor Faggot.

Phil Wenneck: Best little chapel, you know where that is?
Doctor: I do. It's at the corner of get a map and fuck off.

Phil Wenneck: It's Phil, leave a message. But don't text me. It's gay.

Doug Billings: Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble. Or drink too much.
Phil Wenneck: Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.

Alan Garner: Hey what's that on your arm?
Stu Price: Oh my God - Phil, you were in the hospital last night.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah, I guess I was.
Alan Garner: Are you okay?

Phil Wenneck: Whose fucking baby is that?
Stu Price: Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?
Alan Garner: Yeah, I checked all the rooms... No one's there. Check its collar or something.

Phil Wenneck: Fuck, I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger!

Stu Price: Why don't we remember a God damn thing from last night?
Phil Wenneck: Obviously because we had a great fucking time.

Phil Wenneck: Who was that guy? He was so mean!

Phil Wenneck: To a night the four of us will never forget!

Stu Price: This does not seem fair.
Phil Wenneck: It's rock-paper-scissors. There's nothin' more fair.

Ben: You may be the best friend I've ever had.

Anna: You have an ass that makes me wanna dry hump!
Ben: Did you just say 'Dry hump'?
Anna: Yep.
Ben: I think I just fell in love.

Eddie Morra: A tablet a day, and I was limitless.

Carl Van Loon: So, Eddie Morra... And you do know you're a freak? What's your secret?
Eddie Morra: Medication.