Quotes from Bill Hader movies and TV shows

Leonard: Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin.

Ross: Come on Leonard dance.
Leonard: Leonard can't dance. He's hatching a new plan.

Leonard: Greetings from my world! The world of the pigs.
Chuck: What's a pig?
Leonard: I am a pig! Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Ross: Whoops.
Leonard: Whoa! Where we're going? Wrong way.
Ross: Oops. Not working.
Leonard: We've practice this a hundred times. Give it to me. We're gonna come in again.

Leonard: When I say Hey, you say Ho! Hey.
Birds: Ho.

Earl Devereaux: You see this contact lens?
Flint Lockwood: Yeah?
Earl Devereaux: This contact lens represents you! And my eye represents my eye! I've got my *eye* on you!

Flint Lockwood: Come on, Steve! We've got some diem to carpe!

Dave: I have various responsibilities within the crew. I'm kind of a jack-of-all-trades, really. I, one time, manned a flamethrower.
High School Girl: Cool.
Dave: Of course it's cool. It's awesome as shit.

Cathy: Why'd you call yourself Voltron?
Dave: I don't know. Maybe cause it's super badass.
Cathy: You're weird.
Dave: Hells, yeah, I am.

Kevin Powell: Wow, Rod. I can't believe she said yes.
Rod Kimble: Yeah Kevin. You've only to believe if you wish to achieve. That rhymed. Unintentional.
Denise: Wow. She's really pretty, Rod.
Rod Kimble: I know, D. But it's more than that me and Kathy. It's emotional. She gets me.
Dave: Wow, Rod. I am just green with jealous rage right now.

Dave: Oh, man, he hit his ass with a parking cone! Nice.

Dave: He's going in circles.

Dave: Oh, whoa, wait, what? Why is Rod kissing his sister?
Kevin Powell: Oh, Denise isn't his sister.
Dave: She's not?
Kevin Powell: No.
Dave: Oh. That shatters my entire universe.

Cathy: Why do you call yourself Voltron, Dave?
Dave: I don't know, Cathy, maybe because it's super badass?

Dave: You know, pools are perfect for holding water.

Nick Kringle: I'm Santa, you know. I don't get a vacation. I don't even get Christmas off.
Noelle Kringle: Well, you can't be Santa if your having a nervous breakdown.

Officer Slater: May we see your identification? [Takes it.] McLovin? [pauses.] That's a cool name.
Fogell: Wha... Wha...
Officer Slater: Yeah, people have weird names nowadays. Once I arrested this man-lady, and his legal first name was "Fuck."
Officer Michaels: He was Vietnamese, so it was spelled "Ph, " but still that's pretty jarring to see on a drivers license.

Officer Michaels: McLovin?
Fogell: Yeah.
Officer Michaels: Great name.
Officer Slater: It is, it just rolls off the tongue.
Officer Michaels: 'Sounds like a sexy hamburger!

Officer Slater: McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with you penis?

Officer Slater: Ethnically, was he like uh... Uh... African?
Mindy: Was he African? No, he was like you.
Officer Michaels: He's Jewish... So we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie.

Kyle: You can have the pussy, just save me the hole.