They Came Together (2014)

Molly: I love fiction books. Do you?
Eggbert: No, they're not real.

Molly: I don't know Tiffany but she sounds like a stupid bitch.

Molly: Can I ask you a question: how do you sleep at night?
Joel: I usually jerk off and then sleep pretty soundly.

Joel: Give me another one, make it a double.
Bartender: You look like you had a bad day.
Joel: Heh, tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap and you haven't said very much.
Joel: You can say that again.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap and you haven't said very much.

Kyle: You can have the pussy, just save me the hole.