Phaneron

Miracle on Evergreen Terrace - S9-E10

Mr. Burns: Does anyone have change for a button?

Phaneron ★

The Canine Mutiny - S8-E20

Bart: "Order by phone: 1-800," our phone doesn't go up to 800. Unless...

Phaneron ★

Homerpalooza - S7-E24

Abe: What the hell are you two doin'?
Barney: It's called "rockin' out."
Homer: You wouldn't understand, Dad. You're not "with it."
Abe: I used to be "with it," but then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm "with" isn't "it," and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you.

Phaneron ★

Bart's Friend Falls in Love - S3-E23

Milhouse: Bart, I don't want you to see me cry.
Bart: Oh, come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee. You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.

Phaneron ★

Tree House of Horror IX - S10-E4

Ed McMahon: From the producers of "When Skirts Fall Off" and "Secrets of National Security Revealed," it's "World's Deadliest Executions."

Phaneron ★

The Old Man and the Key - S13-E13

Homer: Here we are: Branson, Missouri.
Male Charles Bronson Lookalike: No, pally. This is Bronson, Missouri.
Lisa: Well how do we get to Branson?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: Number 10 bus.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: Hey Ma, how 'bout some cookies?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: No dice.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: This ain't over.

Phaneron ★

Rosebud - S5-E4

Smithers: Here are several fine young men who I'm sure are gonna go far. Ladies and gentlemen, the Ramones.
Mr. Burns: Ah, these minstrels will soothe my jangled nerves.
Joey Ramone: I'd just like to say this gig sucks!
Johnny Ramone: Hey, up yours Springfield!
[The Ramones perform "Happy Birthday To You" for Mr. Burns.]
CJ Ramone: Go to hell, you old bastard!
Marky Ramone: Hey, I think they liked us!
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those aren't...
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!

Phaneron ★

Hungry Hungry Homer - S12-E15

Homer: Who are you?
The Spirit of Cesar Chavez: The spirit of Cesar Chavez.
Homer: Why do you look like Cesar Romero?
The Spirit of Cesar Chavez: Because you don't know what Cesar Chavez looks like.

Phaneron ★

Grade School Confidential - S8-E19

Principal Skinner: The bake sale to raise money for the car wash has been canceled, due to confusion.

Phaneron ★

The Mansion Family - S11-E12

Homer: See that ship over there? They're rebroadcasting Major League Baseball with implied oral consent, not expressed written consent.

Phaneron ★

A Star is Burns - S6-E18

Jay Sherman: Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9."
Charles Bronson: [Bedridden in a hospital.] I wish I was dead.

Phaneron ★

You Only Move Twice - S8-E2

Hank Scorpio: Good afternoon, gentleman. This is Scorpio. I have the doomsday device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold, or you face the consequences. And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this. [Presses the button on a remote control, causing a bridge to collapse.]
U.N. Official #1: Oh my God, the 59th Street bridge.
U.N. Official #2: Maybe it just collapsed on its own.
U.N. Official #1: We can't take that chance.
U.N. Official #2: You always say that. I want to take a chance.

Phaneron ★

Homer vs. Patty and Selma - S6-E17

Chief Wiggum: Evening, Simpson. You got a short in your taillight, started blinking when you made that turn.

Phaneron ★

Marge vs. the Monorail - S4-E12

Mayor Quimby: Alright, I'm in charge here.
Chief Wiggum: Oh, run along Quimby. I think they're dedicating a phone booth somewhere.
Mayor Quimby: Watch it, you talking tub of donut batter.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I got pictures of you Quimby.
Mayor Quimby: You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass.

Phaneron ★

Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays - S15-E8

[Bart and Lisa are fighting over the television remote and land on an episode of "King of the Hill"].
Hank Hill: Bobby, I got propane in my urethra.

Phaneron ★

A Star is Burns - S6-E18

Smithers: Sir, the actors are here to audition for the part of you.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.
Hannibal Lecter: Excellent. [Snarls].
Mr. Burns: Next.
William Shatner: Ex. Cell. Ent.
Mr. Burns: Next.
Homer: Exactly. Heh heh. D'oh!
Mr. Burns: Next.
Bumblebee Man: ¡Excelente!
Señor Spielbergo: Es muy bueno.
Mr. Burns: Oh, it's hopeless. I'll have to play myself.

Phaneron ★

Tree House of Horror IV: The Simpson's Halloween Special IV - S5-E5

Demon: So, you like donuts, eh?
Homer: Uh huh.
Demon: Well, have all the donuts in the world. [Laughs maniacally.]
[Homer proceeds to eat all the donuts in the world with little effort.]
Demon: I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in fifteen minutes.

Phaneron ★

Bart Star - S9-E6

[Marge is trying to purchase a sports cup for Bart.]
Marge: He's going to need, uh, protection.
Clerk: Sure, one helmet coming up.
Marge: I was thinking more like protection for, down there.
Clerk: Oh, why didn't you say so? Knee pads, you got it.
Marge: [Laughs nervously] I'm talking about his personal area.
Clerk: Aha, say no more. I read you loud and clear. The old shoulder pads.
Marge: Look, I want a cup.
Clerk: Cup? Could you spell that?
Marge: C-U-P. I wanna C-U... oh my god!

Phaneron ★

In Marge We Trust - S8-E22

Principal Skinner: Mother's gone too far. She's put a cardboard box over her half of the television. We rented "Man Without a Face." I didn't even know he had a problem.

Phaneron ★

Tree House of Horror XI - S12-E1

Homer: Did you see that? I did the deed. Open up.
St. Peter: Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking.
Homer: Hey, I thought you guys could see everything.
St. Peter: No, you're thinking of Santa Claus.
Homer: Well I'll be damned.
St. Peter: I'm afraid so, yes. [Drops Homer into Hell.]

Phaneron ★