Otis B. Driftwood: And now, on with the opera. Let joy be unconfined. Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
Mrs. Claypool: Get off that bed. What would people say?
Otis B. Driftwood: They'd probably say you're a very lucky woman.
Otis B. Driftwood: Don't you know what duplicates are?
Fiorello: Sure, those five kids up in Canada.
Otis B. Driftwood: That woman? Do you know why I sat with her? Because she reminded me of you.
Mrs. Claypool: Really?
Otis B. Driftwood: Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you. How do you account for that? If she figures that one out, she's good.
Henderson: Say, what's that bed doing there?
Otis B. Driftwood: I don't see it doing anything.
Fiorello: What'll I say?
Otis B. Driftwood: Tell them you're not here.
Fiorello: Suppose they don't believe me?
Otis B. Driftwood: They'll believe you when you start talking.
Otis B. Driftwood: Say, I just remembered, I came back here looking for somebody. You don't know who it is, do you?
Fiorello: It's a funny thing, it just slipped my mind.
Otis B. Driftwood: It's none of my business, but I think there's a brace of woodpeckers in the orchestra.
Otis B. Driftwood: Hello toots.
Mrs. Claypool: Well. What are you doing here? This is Mr. Gottlieb's box.
Otis B. Driftwood: He couldn't come, so he gave me his ticket. He couldn't get dressed, so he gave me his clothes.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, that's fine. If that steward's deaf and dumb, he'll never know you're in here.
Manicurist: Did you want your nails long or short?
Otis B. Driftwood: Better make them short. It's getting pretty crowded in here.
Henderson: Am I crazy or are there only two beds in here?
Otis B. Driftwood: Now which question do you want me to answer first, Henderson?
Henderson: What's a hermit doing with four beds?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, you see those first three beds?
Henderson: Yes.
Otis B. Driftwood: Last night, I counted five thousand sheep in those three beds, so I had to have another bed to sleep in. You wouldn't want me to sleep with the sheep, would you?
Engineer's Assistant: I'm the engineer's assistant.
Otis B. Driftwood: You know I had a premonition you were going to show up. The engineer's right there in the corner. You can chop your way right through.
Mrs. Claypool: Are you sure you have everything, Otis?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, I haven't had any complaints yet.
Henderson: You live here all alone?
Otis B. Driftwood: Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practically a hermit.
Henderson: Oh. A hermit. I notice the table's set for four.
Otis B. Driftwood: That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight. That doesn't prove a thing.
Henderson: The last time I was in this room there were four beds here.
Otis B. Driftwood: Please! I'm not interested in your private life, Henderson.
Fiorello: Ricardo, how do you feel?
Ricardo: After a meal like that great. I could sing my head off. Cosi-Cosa. It's a wonderful word tra-la-la-la.
Otis B. Driftwood: You didn't happen to see my suit in there, did you?
Fiorello: Yeah, it was taking up too much room, so we sold it.
Otis B. Driftwood: Did you get anything for it?
Fiorello: Uh... dollar forty.
Otis B. Driftwood: That's my suit all right.
Otis B. Driftwood: Do they allow tipping on the boat?
Steward: Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood: Have you got two fives?
Steward: Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, then you won't need the ten cents I was gonna give you.
