Henderson: Say! Now, how did those two beds get together?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, you know how those things are, they breed like rabbits.
Otis B. Driftwood: You know the old saying. Two's company, five's a crowd.
Otis B. Driftwood: You see that spaghetti? Now, behind that spaghetti is none other than Herman Gottlieb, director of the New York Opera Company. Do you follow me?
Mrs. Claypool: Yes.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well stop following me or I'll have you arrested.
Otis B. Driftwood: Was that a high C, or Vitamin D?
Otis B. Driftwood: Ladies and gentlemen... I guess that takes in most of you.
Lassparri: What do you mean by humiliating me in front of all of those people? You're fired! Do you understand? You're fired.
Otis B. Driftwood: Hey, you big bully. What's the idea of hitting that little bully?
Lassparri: Will you kindly let me handle my own affairs? Get out.
Otis B. Driftwood: And now, on with the opera. Let joy be unconfined. Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
Mrs. Claypool: Get off that bed. What would people say?
Otis B. Driftwood: They'd probably say you're a very lucky woman.
Otis B. Driftwood: Don't you know what duplicates are?
Fiorello: Sure, those five kids up in Canada.
Otis B. Driftwood: That woman? Do you know why I sat with her? Because she reminded me of you.
Mrs. Claypool: Really?
Otis B. Driftwood: Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you. How do you account for that? If she figures that one out, she's good.
Henderson: Say, what's that bed doing there?
Otis B. Driftwood: I don't see it doing anything.
Fiorello: What'll I say?
Otis B. Driftwood: Tell them you're not here.
Fiorello: Suppose they don't believe me?
Otis B. Driftwood: They'll believe you when you start talking.
