Jingle All the Way (1996)

Giant Santa: I'm gonna deck your halls, bub.

Howard: Put that cookie down. NOW.

Turbo Man: It's Turbo time.

Howard: Aww, poor baby.

Myron Larabee: How about these stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole: "Dear Santa, Can you send me a bike and a slinky?" No! Your father's been laid off.

Myron Larabee: We get one day a year to prove we're not screw-ups and what do we do? We screw it up.

Mall Santa: We're not just doing this for us. We're doing it for the kids. For every kid who ever sat on Santa's lap. For every little girl who left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas night. For every little boy who opens a package Christmas morning and finds clothes instead of toys. It breaks my heart.

Ted Maltin: I've got a Turbo Man for Johnny months ago. It's nestled safely under our tree.

Howard Langston: He got two! He got two.

Myron Larabee: I work for the post office so you know I'm not stable! Tell 'em.
Howard Langston: This man is totally insane.
Myron Larabee: Thank you.

Myron Larabee: As if I didn't have enough trouble, my son sends me out for some goofy-butt toy. Some fruity robot named Turtle Man.
Howard Langston: It's Turbo Man. My son wants one, too.

Howard Langston: You guys are nothing but a bunch of sleazy conmen in red suits.
Mall Santa: What did you call us?
Howard Langston: You heard me right. Conmen. Thieves. Degenerates. Low-lifes. Thugs. Criminals.
Mall Santa: At the North Pole, them are fightin' words, partner.

Myron Larabee: Ta-ta, Turtleman.

Ted Maltin: Howard, I'm of the mind set you can never do too much to make a child's Christmas magical.

Huge Santa: I'm gonna deck your halls, bub.

Howard Langston: I gotta tell you, Santa, there's something about this place that doesn't seem quite... Kosher.
Mall Santa: Kosher? This coming from a guy who assaulted a toddler for a super ball?

Jamie: I want the Turbo Man action figure with the arms and legs that move and the boomerang shooter and his rock'n roller jet pack and the realistic voice activator that says 5 different phrases including, "It's Turbo time!" Accessories sold separately. Batteries not included.