Half Baked (1998)

Scarface: [Pointing at people] Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!

Sir-Smoke-Alot: The doctor said I need a backiotomy.

Brian: Hey, Jan... will you be my girlfriend?
Jan: Well, I would, but I'm gay. I'm a big dyke.
Brian: Oh. What's that like?

Thurgood Jenkins: I be from Jamaica, mon. Lord have mercy.
Samson Simpson: What part of Jamaica?
Thurgood Jenkins: Right near da beach. Boy-eeee.

Thurgood Jenkins: Guys just shutup about the weed for two seconds, I don't want this girl to know I smoke.
Scarface: Yeah it's bad enough you a janitor yo.
Thurgood Jenkins: Custodian, dick.

Thurgood Jenkins: I'm sorry, yo. I don't wanna be the first nigga to die from a crossbow.

Thurgood Jenkins: I've heard people say you don't get high the first time you smoke. Not me. No-o, not us. WE were really, really high. We was to' up.

Thurgood Jenkins: I got some bootie! I got some bootie! It was good, too.

Cocaine Addict: Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?

The Guy on the Couch: Hey, is it January?
Thurgood Jenkins: No, it's August.
The Guy on the Couch: Really?

Thurgood Jenkins: Abba Zaba, you my only friend.

Kenny: You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch.

Brian: For 400 dollars I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man.
Thurgood Jenkins: Who the fuck told you that?
Brian: The man who sold it to me, Barry Garcia.
Thurgood Jenkins: So who is that, Jerry Garcia's brother?
Brian: No, actually it was Andy Garcia's brother.

Thurgood Jenkins: I'm sexy! I'm a scholar! People like me.

Kenny: In eleven days I'm as good as skewered! Ever take your clothes off and run backwards through a cornfield?

Kenny: No. no. no! Devil man! Devil 6-6-6, the mark of the beast! No! Naughty! Naughty jungle of love.

Brian: You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace.
Thurgood Jenkins: Obviously you missed the whole point of that story, Brian.

Scarface: Abracadabra, B.

Scarface: Don't worry, man. All we gotta do to get you out is to get ten percent of ten million dollars. Which by our calculations is.
Brian: ...Fucking impossible, man.

Detective: Hey! You paying attention?
Brian: No.