Half Baked (1998)

Scarface: [Pointing at people] Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!

Thurgood Jenkins: I got some bootie! I got some bootie! It was good, too.

Cocaine Addict: Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?

The Guy on the Couch: Hey, is it January?
Thurgood Jenkins: No, it's August.
The Guy on the Couch: Really?

Thurgood Jenkins: Abba Zaba, you my only friend.

Kenny: You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch.

Brian: For 400 dollars I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man.
Thurgood Jenkins: Who the fuck told you that?
Brian: The man who sold it to me, Barry Garcia.
Thurgood Jenkins: So who is that, Jerry Garcia's brother?
Brian: No, actually it was Andy Garcia's brother.

Thurgood Jenkins: I'm sexy! I'm a scholar! People like me.

Kenny: In eleven days I'm as good as skewered! Ever take your clothes off and run backwards through a cornfield?

Kenny: No. no. no! Devil man! Devil 6-6-6, the mark of the beast! No! Naughty! Naughty jungle of love.

Brian: You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace.
Thurgood Jenkins: Obviously you missed the whole point of that story, Brian.

Scarface: Abracadabra, B.

Scarface: Don't worry, man. All we gotta do to get you out is to get ten percent of ten million dollars. Which by our calculations is.
Brian: ...Fucking impossible, man.

Detective: Hey! You paying attention?
Brian: No.

Scarface: Yo I'm Cuban, B.
Samson Simpson: Yes, Cuban B.

Thurgood Jenkins: You know I got some weed at work today, if y'all wanna try it out.
Scarface: Nah, we don't feel like smokin right now.
Thurgood Jenkins: Me neither. So y'all wanna smoke?
Scarface: I'll get Billy Bong Thornton.
Brian: No man. No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny. That wouldn't be right. Get Wesley Pipes. Yeah.

Thurgood Jenkins: You have smoked yourself retarded.

Thurgood Jenkins: I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.

Thurgood Jenkins: This weed was the shiz-nittlebam snip-snap-sack.

Samson Simpson: I'm going to kill your little Mexican friend.
Scarface: I'm Cuban, B.
Samson Simpson: Ahhh, yes! Cuban Bee.