Blue Bell: I think we might be in her pocket.
Burly: What?
Blue Bell: I think she might have shrunk us, and put us in a matchbox in her pocket.
Burly: That's ridiculous. You're falling to pieces. Get a grip on yourself. How can we be in a matchbox, you idiot? Where are all the matches?
Tony: Well, it's "slice the fruitcake" time again.
Acorn: If you get stabbed... save the knife for me, won't ya?
Acorn: You may find what you seek down there.
Virginia: What do you mean?
Acorn: I don't know. I always wanted to say that.
Tony: What is it with you people? What kind of twisted upbringing did you have? You know, why can't you just say, 'Oh, that'll be 100 gold coins'? Why does it always have to be, 'No! Not unless you lay a magic egg, or count the hairs on that giant's ass!'?
Evil Queen: I've turned Prince Wendell into a dog.
Wolf: Good idea.
Christine Lewis: Once upon a time, there was a lovely, little girl who lived on the edge of the forest. Her mommy told her never to go into the forest, but do you know what she did?
Little Virginia: No.
Christine Lewis: Yes, you do. She went into the forest and she met a monster. And then she died. And everyone forgot about her, and we all lived happily ever after.
Wolf: You are as safe as a brick-built pig house.
Sally Peep: If my door wasn't locked, I'd be scared you'd come into my house and huff and puff and blow all my clothes off.
Wolf: Where do you live, Sally?
Wolf: Don't worry, I'm not who I used to be. I've had extensive therapy. I realise I have been using food as a substitute for love and I have the books to prove it: "Breaking the Cycle", "Heal Yourself in 7 Days", "Stop Blaming Yourself, Please", and "Help for the Bedwetting Child", which I picked up by mistake. But I've got them all.
Burly: This could be a long torture session.
Virginia: I'll tell you anything you wanna know.
Burly: Torture first, then you talk. It's better that way. Rush a torture, ruin a torture.
Restaurant Owner: I am the greatest chef in the Nine Kingdoms! Folks travel hundreds of miles just to eat my food.
Wolf: Yeah, well my date's from a different dimension, so don't slip up.
Acorn: Straight ahead 300 yards, left at the rotting entrails and you're out. Ten, fifteen minutes at the most.
Huntsman: I know your destiny. You'll ask a question, and die before it's answered.
Old Elf: Who are you?
Virginia: I have a hard time trusting people. I just never wanna jump unless I'm sure somebody's gonna catch me.
Wolf: Oh, I'll catch you. And if I miss for any reason, I'll sit by your bedside and nurse you back to health.
Tony: It's no use, the man is a complete idiot.
Village Idiot: If only. Now my father, he was a complete idiot. I'm still a half-wit.
Wolf: Wolfies just pretend to do naughty things.
Prince Wendell: Antony, I know this is highly irregular, but, would you mind giving me a cuddle, please?
Answer: Because if Wendell and the switched dog somehow came in contact with each other then they would switch back. She does not want to risk this happening.
Scrappy