Brenda: My Morty becomes this big shot on T.V... He was selling electronics, right? On our 20th wedding anniversary it hits midlife crisis major. He starts working out, he, he grows a moustache, he gets an earring. I said, "Morty, Morty, what are you? A pirate? what's next? A parrot?" And all of a sudden I'm a big drag. I'm holding him back because I won't go rollerblading.
Ivana Trump: Ladies, you have to be strong and independent, and remember, don't get mad, get everything.
Annie: Let's synchronize our watches.
Brenda: Ooo, just like "Mission: Impossible!"
Elise: Oh, that was a big hit.
Elise: There are only three ages for women in Hollywood - Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.
Aaron Paradis: I can't handle more surprises today.
Chris Paradis: Oh, Daddy. I'm a lesbian. A big one.
Elise: I'm not Monique's Mother.
Elise: Angela Lansbury's Monique's Mother.
Elise: Shelley Winters is Unique's mother.
Maurice: Now that's a good one.
Elise: Sean Connery is Monique's mother.
Maurice: And I'm going to get you some coffee.