Uncle Carmine: Brenda, I speak on behalf of your father, my beloved brother, that Morty is garbage, and it would be an honor to me to take him out.
Brenda: I remember your first talk-y.
Elise: Oh yeah, what did you ever win? A pie eating contest?"Best digestion?"
Elise: I'm unhappy, Maurice.
Maurice: And I'm going to get you that coffee.
Elise: No, Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend! He may be three hundred years old, but he's still a stud.
Morty: Shelly, what happened here? $140,00 for a plate? $47,000 for a carpet? A used carpet? $300,00 for a Lamborghini? Are you crazy?
Shelly: I bought the car for you! It was only 300 grand! It was a gift.
Morty: With my money you bought it! I bought me the gift.
Shelly: Jesus, Morty, all I want is a lifestyle, y'know - with some ambiance and some classic eternal good taste.
Ivana Trump: Ladies, you have to be strong and independent, and remember, don't get mad, get everything.
