First Wives Club

First Wives Club (1996)

26 quotes

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Movie Quote Quiz

Annie: Let's synchronize our watches.
Brenda: Ooo, just like "Mission: Impossible!"
Elise: Oh, that was a big hit.

Brenda: I remember your first talk-y.
Elise: Oh yeah, what did you ever win? A pie eating contest?"Best digestion?"

Annie: What if Elise starts drinking again and then you start sniping away?
Elise: Been there.
Brenda: Done that.

Elise: I'm not Monique's Mother.
Maurice: No.
Elise: Angela Lansbury's Monique's Mother.
Maurice: Uh-huh.
Elise: Shelley Winters is Unique's mother.
Maurice: Now that's a good one.
Elise: Sean Connery is Monique's mother.
Maurice: And I'm going to get you some coffee.

Morty: Shelly, what happened here? $140,00 for a plate? $47,000 for a carpet? A used carpet? $300,00 for a Lamborghini? Are you crazy?
Shelly: I bought the car for you! It was only 300 grand! It was a gift.
Morty: With my money you bought it! I bought me the gift.
Shelly: Jesus, Morty, all I want is a lifestyle, y'know - with some ambiance and some classic eternal good taste.

Brenda: Wake up and smell the audit.

Dr. Morris Packman: If I give you one more face lift you're going to be able to blink your lips.

Brenda: My Morty becomes this big shot on T.V... He was selling electronics, right? On our 20th wedding anniversary it hits midlife crisis major. He starts working out, he, he grows a moustache, he gets an earring. I said, "Morty, Morty, what are you? A pirate? what's next? A parrot?" And all of a sudden I'm a big drag. I'm holding him back because I won't go rollerblading.

Uncle Carmine: Brenda, I speak on behalf of your father, my beloved brother, that Morty is garbage, and it would be an honor to me to take him out.

Elise: Annie, you choose. Who's your friend? Me or Brenda?
Brenda: Yeah, for once in your life make a decision? Who's your friend? Some Beverly Hills science project?
Elise: Or a woman with her own aisle at the supermarket?

Elise: There are only three ages for women in Hollywood - Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.

Elise: I'm unhappy, Maurice.
Maurice: And I'm going to get you that coffee.

Elise: I drink because I am a sensitive and highly strung person.
Brenda: No, that's why your co-stars drink.

Elise: And you didn't even invite me to your son's bar mitzvah.
Brenda: I didn't think you would come.
Annie: Yeah, it was in Hebrew.
Brenda: Oh shutup.

Brenda: So okay, alimony sucks. Okay, you didn't get to play a police woman in a wonder bra. But look at you, you're gorgeous! And thanks to Cher's pioneering efforts you still haven't hit puberty! And once upon a time you were a terrific actress! You've even got an Oscar to prove it! You've spent your whole life with people sucking up to you! I'm sure Annie will agree with me when I say that your perception of life is somewhat altered.

Duarto: Leave me alone. One hour. One hour. One hour, thank you.

Bill: Nice car, used to have one myself.
Shelly: Thanks. So, what's going on in there? Is it just a lot of battered women dancing around or what?
Bill: Yeah, sort of. Not really my scene.
Shelly: Me neither.
Bill: So, are you here with anybody?
Shelly: Not really.
Bill: How old are you?

Ivana Trump: Ladies, you have to be strong and independent, and remember, don't get mad, get everything.

Elise: No, Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend! He may be three hundred years old, but he's still a stud.

Brenda: There she is. Princess Pelvis.

Continuity mistake: When the three ladies are singing 'You Don't Own Me', they stand up and put their coats on. In the back shot, Goldie Hawn's hand gets caught in Diane Keaton's coat sash, but next front shot Goldie's hand is suddenly free.

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